Phone Booth - Why Couldn't We Get One Gratuitous Katie Holmes T*t Shot ?????
Whattup........ This is The Bro's Newest Delve into recapping stuff for you..... Since i'm an avid Movie Buff and Ten times hotter than most of those Ugly Actor's that score with Hot Chicks in the movies I decided to start recapping movies, so you can either decide to go or decide to stay at home an knit quilts adorned with Roy Orbison's Spectacle laden face.....
This weeks offering is none other than Phone Booth...... The First thing that needs to be said is that I'm in love with Colin Farrell, I wish I looked like him.... In fact if all guys looked like him, I could seriously be gay and enjoy it...... HA, not really, but ummm yeah he's hot..... Also in the movie is Katie Holmes who has lips to have a heart attack by..... If the last thing I saw was the back of her head, I'd be a happy man...... And last but not least, The Last Pivotal Character is Forrest Whittaker who plays Police Captain.... Well I forget his name, so for this purpose, we will call him Cheif Lazy Eye McGee......
Anyways the story of the movie is basically about ' Someday your moral crimes will catch up to you ' Farrell plays a Publicist/Marketing Rep , and we all know how much of a sh*t stain those can be , who is cheating on his wife, and basically lies to everyone in the process of his daily life.... Hey, look cut the guy some breaks here, I'm pretty sure when you fill out an application to be a publicist there's a checkbox that say's ' Will you Donkey Punch yo Mamma for your client ' so lying is the least of his moral crimes...... And He's hot, so he deserves some breaks!!!!!! Anyways the movie's central theme revolves around a phone booth that he calls his girlfriend ( Katie Holmes ) from so his wife will never find out about her..... He even goes through the process of taking off his wedding ring to call, Hey, see the guy is an upstanding citizen.... He has feelings.... So he calls his girlfriend for some afternoon sex one day but she turns him down... He gets upset and walks away, but the phone rings again..... Thinking it's her, he picks it up...... Nope it's Kiefer Sutherland and he's calling from the Fox Sponsored Reality Show, '24 Hours of Sniping fun', where Kiefer Sutherland is a celebrity Sniper who takes down unsuspecting Phone Booth Callers........ Ratings Galore!!!! Actually it's Kiefer Sutherland but we're not supposed to know that, and I highly doubt he goes by Kiefer Sutherland in this movie...... Anyways it's revelealed he's been stalking Farrell ( And what mid - 30's sitcom star wouldn't ??? ) and he wants Farrell to right his wrongs.......
The next part of the movie is where it gets intense.... He first wants Farrell to call his wife and admit he's been sleeping around, Farrell calls but tells her not to listen to anyone if they call...... So then Sutherland calls Katie Holmes to tell her about Farrell lying to her..... Farrell can hear the phone call, but can't respond...... Here's where Sutherland blew it....... If I was him I would have been like ' This is ( Insert Farrell's Movie name here ) and I'm role playing... Meet me at the hotel in 30 minutes and I'll be dressed as Kiefer Sutherland and you can pretend to be Elisha Cuthbeart and we'll tag it like a street gang ' But he didn't...... He could have nailed her, but he just told her about Farrell's deceitful ways and hung up..... All the while Hookers on Crack are trying to break into Farrell's phone booth to use the phone to make there pimp calls...... But Farrell cannot hang up the phone because Kiefer has already let him know he has a rifle pointed at him, and used the red sight line on his chest to prove it....... The Hookers go tell there pimp who comes over and tells Farrell to get off the phone....... Well yeah, easier said than done..... So he punches the Phone Booth and gets mad at Farrell 'cause he hurt his hand.... Please explain to me, how that was Farrell's fault??? Anyways he goes and gets a baseball bat and bashes the Window out and starts to pull Farrell out at which point Sutherland keeps on telling him to say Yes if he wants him to waste the guy... but he also asks if he can hear him, to which Farrell replies yes...... Sutherland being the trigger happy homo that he is shoots The Pimp and CHAOS ensues!!!!!! the Hookers start screaming about how Farrell killed ' Her Baby Daddy ' ( Unintentional Humor while a Guy gets shot, Is great !!!!! )
So Sutherland is telling Farrell why he shot the guy...... Blah Blah Blah and The Police show up... IT"S CAPTAIN LAZY EYE MCGEE TO THE RESCUE!!!!!!!!!! Seriously Forrest Whittaker should never play a serious role with his lazy eye, that's the strecth of the year in acting...... Lazy Eye knows something is up because why would a guy stay around to make a phone call after he killed a man..... Seriously have you seen the Phone Sex rates nowadays??? I'm gonna bleed that minute all the way till the end... They're gonna charge it to me anyways..... Anyways Lazy Eye McGee wants to be Farrell's best friend and talk him out of the phone booth, but Farrell is like me in the fact you can never trust a lazy eyed person..... They can never look you in the eyes..... It's physically impossible like there hatching some evil plan the whole time they're talking to you....... Sutherland doesn't like the Lazy Eyed chief either and wants to take him out, but Farrell won't let him.......
Farrell's wife shows up and SHE'S HOT!!!!!!! Ok now i'm all about punishing this guy... He has two hot chicks.... He f*cking up my ratio here...... Sutherland wants Farrell to admit to her that he's cheating... He does in a sly way, but not fully, not good enough for Sutherland's standards...... I'm not gonna tell everything about the movie, but there's a series of serious moments where you think He's about to get shot by either the Po-Po or the Sniper...... There's even a major swerve thrown in by Sutherland....... And Katie Holmes shows up across the way from his wife and Sutherland makes Farrell decide between the two...... Again Sutherland blew it cause he could have been like ' Stu, tell your girlfriend to flash me and I won't kill her ' but no, they couldn't appease me and my perverted legions........ Stupid Idiots!!!!!! Have you no balls!
The ending is a climatic curve ball that will have you scrathing your head going ' Man that was pretty good, even though I didn't get to see Katie Holmes' teets ' The thing that bothers me most is Farrell never goes ' Hey, That actor from 24 is on the other end of the phone..... He's sniping me from the rooftops somewhere, it couldn't be that hard to find Kiefer Sutherland, he's a pretty recognizeable face.... I mean it sorta defeats the purpose when you hear the voice and know who it is...... If he would have called my phone booth I would have been like ' What's up Brotha, loved Lost Boys, sorry about losing Julia, but she has big teeth anyways, looks like she could eat grass, don't sweat it man ' and he would have let me go from apathy alone!!!!!!!! Apathy is lethal....... Knowledge is not! But overall this Movie gets the ' Bro's Seal of Approval for Non-Gayness ' and I suggest you go see it for the sexiness of Farrell and Holmes alone....... Sweet, Sweet Katie Holmes I'll float my beef barge of pleasure down her Dawson's Creek anyday......
Check back here for The Bro's Insight on all the movies you wanna see so you can find out if they're Gay or not....... thebro1869@hotmail.com 
