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Bro's Real ' From the Inside ' 8/26/03
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Who says the internet is all negative?
"Unf***ingbelievable sums things up nicely, and this will justify the purchase of the replay right off the bat." (Scott Keith, www.411wrestling.com) ( " Thanks, TNA for sending the wonderful corncopia for various hemp products to my house... smoking during the show, makes everything fall into place... Scott Keith )
"You can't ask for much more from a pay-per-view than what TNA delivered this week. The Ultimate X match exceeded the hype and is the most innovative in-ring exhibition since the ladder match was born." (Jason Powell, www.pwtorch.com) ( " Thanks TNA, finnally you're checked cleared after several days of being denied.... I'll continue to shill as long as the checks continue to roll in " Jason Powell )
"The effort by the participants was really there, going hand in hand with the hot crowd. After Monday, this was just a welcome change." (Dave Meltzer, www.wrestlingobserver.com) ( " Thanks TNA for sending me the proper instructions for how to cook crack, who would have known the spoon went right side up.. Thanks, Again " Dave Meltzer )
"I look forward to TNA building off this show to continue a streak of outstanding wrestling shows." (David Miller, www.1stsourcewrestling.net) ( " Hi, TNA my name is David Miller, I'm a no -count hack, please quote me " David Miller )
"The best two hours of wrestling on television this week. Hands down." (Buck Woodward, www.1wrestling.com) ( " Thanks to my boss who has a mjority interest in TNA and signs my check, I'll play it safe and shill " Buck Woodward )
"TNA didn't resort to cruddy rape or comic book segments. It stuck to Booking 101 this week and let the talents of the wrestlers carry it from there. Good stuff." (Wade Keller, www.pwtorch.com) ( What rape is he referring to???? There was no rape on RAW... PERIOD )
"now is the time to give them a try. I'll be shocked if you are disappointed. And if you do order this show, pop a tape in and record it because you'll want to have the first Ultimate X match in your collection." (Jason Powell, www.pwtorch.com) ( " Pop another pill in me ' Powell )
"Damn did Gigli suck." (Jeremy Borash, www.NWATNA.com) ( " But Benn Affleck was still sexy... thanks to the empty theatre, my popcorn got extra butter..... " Borash )
OK, so maybe I am the only negative one ( Well one thing is for certain you're the only Dingleberry Diver )
I think it goes without question that innovations in this business seem to be very rare these days. Hats off to the TNA creative team for inventing what I think is the most inventive match format of this decade so far. The Ultimate X was fun, innovative, and most of all different.
The one question I was getting from everyone was who just exactly thought of this concept? Well, most ideas are a team effort, and this one fits in this category, as everyone involved in the creative process all claimed it to be a culmination of ideas. ( Ha, funny you should ask where we got the idea. You see we keep Frank Parker and Cheex in a hyperbaric chamber at the TNA offices which is constantly pumped with opium and the bathroom fumes after a Harris Twin Steamer Show...... They are so high off of al lthat junk that they come up with crazy ideas such as the Ultimate X and naming Ron Harris Production Manager, among other things. So in short , no pun intended, Midgets high on Crap Gas and Opium came up with that match )
Of course, the real heroes were the participants in the match. All three worked very hard knowing how important of a match this was for our company. They delivered a spectacular performance.
Some fans in attendance told me after the show they felt the belt dropping actually added to the drama of the match. While I would of wished it would have stayed up there, by no means did it ruin any part of the match for me. ( Freddy and Jason don't count Borash, they work for you )
Immediately following the match, Michael Shane delivered the promo of his young career backstage that will air this weekend on Xplosion, and may find its way onto the PPV this Wednesday night. If you haven't seen Xplosion, get yourself a tape, as we now meet the talent moments after they come back through the curtain to get their immediate thoughts on what just happened. It really is good television and is well worth checking out. ( Good depending on what your definition of good is.... If your definition is a Religious Cult Show on Cable Access filmed with a grainy 1985 Camcorder, then Xplosion is good, if you're expecting mid-range local show value, then it's not )
On Xplosion this weekend, you will see Glenn Gilberti, Abyss, and Mad Mikey in action. Check nwatna.com to see if Xplosion airs in your area. ( Borash, the point of hyping Xplosion is to make people watch, not turn them away... Geez )
Hats off to Erik Watts for a solid performance last Wednesday night. Erik really has shown dedication to his in-ring abilities, and it is beginning to really show. ( You know what????...... :) His baby talk funny schtick is getting really old, really quick )
Virtually no one knew it was AJ Styles and Vince Russo roaming the asylum dressed as Freddy and Jason during the show, including Don West and Mike Tenay. Several times during the night AJ would walk by and poked Mike Tenay with his plastic knife. They entered the arena and took their seats at ringside with the rest of the fans before the show, and with the characters that attend our live events, fit in quite nicely to the circus atmosphere at the asylum. ( Freddy fit along fine with the apparent Leprosy problem, plaguing many of the Asylum regulars )
A comical moment occurred after the show as well involving referee Rudy Charles. While overhearing the karaoke stylings of Eddy G's rendition of "Hit me with your best shot," at Hurricane's nightclub, a female friend commented that she enjoyed Pat Benetar's music, to which Rudy responded with"Yeah, he's great." While I will admit Benetar looked a bit masculine during the "Love is a Battlefeild" video, never once have I confused her for a man. Within five minutes, word of Rudy's statement spread to the entire bar.
In the interest of fairness, I have allowed Rudy Charles to issue this following statement in his defense:
Jeremy Borash is an ass-wrench that laughs at others mistakes to build up his own ego, see it wasn't easy for Mr. Borash growing up, being locked inside a suitcase as a gimp, for Mr. Franklin, the town's Ice Cream Man really took a toll on his self esteem. Then came the glandular problem with constant sweating, people would look strangley and grab there children and scurry off when he went to the mall and was drenched to the core and stunk like moldy possum. Don't blame Mr. Borash for being a SpunkMonkey, it's the way life has made the man.
Well, there you have it. I would like to state for the record that the only people I told were Glenn Gilberti, Konnan, Legend, Chris Daniels, and the DJ, who then announced it to the rest of the bar. ( I would just like to invite Christopher Daniels to come hang with some cool people the next time he feels the need to surround himself with ' those ' people )
Starting September 3rd, TNA will go from having 3 replays a week on iN DEMAND, to over 25 replays a week. ( Hmmmm 25 more reasons why i should take up backgammon as a hobby )
We will be in Buffalo this Sunday for the Ballpark Brawl. You will see Raven, AJ Styles, Kid Kash, Jeff Jarrett and more this Sunday in Buffalo, NY! Tickets are still available.
Teddy Hart will debut for TNA on the September 3rd broadcast. Hart marks the start of the third generation of Harts in the wrestling business. ( Flash Pants McGee... Looks like he should be in Chorus Line or audiotining for Captain Yippy's Sideshow Circus.... ' He's a Maniac, Maniac, on the Floor, and he's dancing like he's never danced before ' )
Did you catch the bagpipe music and the "He's coming" message this past Wednesday night? This could get interesting. ( As Velvetty Vanny Volume Makes his debut in the asylum...... That's what it means right??? With that velvetty inro video )
Years ago there was controversy over Nova getting left off of the PWI Top 500. This year they've done it again, as Cheex was no where to be found. A win on PPV apparently does not constitute placement on this list. That is a shame. A damn shame and a total injustice.
We've made a conscious effort to get the lineup matches announced well ahead of our Wednesday program to give fans something to look forward to, and this week we've have several matches to confirm for this Wednesday:( This is something that really shouldn't take a concsious effort, as storylines should be developed way into advance, you know for continuity )
AJ STYLES vs. RAVEN
(NWA World Championship match)
GLENN GILBERTI vs. DUSTY RHODES
(Bullrope match)
AMW vs. SIMON & SWINGER
(NWA World Tag Team Championship match)
MICHAEL SHANE vs. JERRY LYNN
(X-Division Title match)
D-LO BROWN vs. SONNY SIAKI
SANDMAN vs. ABYSS
3 LIVE KREW vs. SHANE DOUGLAS & THE NEW CHURCH
Some potential show stealers in the mix this Wednesday night!
If you missed this past Wednesday's critically acclaimed show, don't miss your opportunity to catch the replay! Times are all now posted on NWATNA.com. ( To be critically acclaimed you would need total agreement that is was a good show.... Myself,Bo,HeelSection and The Dames all thought it could be better, so not exactly all critically acclaimed )
Get your VCR's ready, because on September 10th, TNA will be airing two very different can't miss shows( That's right, we're working hard on this one being very entertaining!!! )
On DirecTV, you will get to see a preview of our upcoming DVD release called "THE BEST OF TNA's WORLD TITLE MATCHES." This show is loaded with some of the best matches in TNA history. It really turned out to be a great show.( Could be aptly named ' The Sassy One : Lessons on what it takes to keep the Belt ' )
The one cent show offered to iN DEMAND customers on September 10th will be an absolute can't miss. There will be plenty of fresh content, as well as everything from the infamous AMW vs TRIPLE X cage match to the JARRETT vs. RAVEN battle. More on both of these shows next week. ( Fresh Content such as Borash dressed as a 19th century Scurvy ridden Cabin Boy doing impersonations of famous silk screen printers )
That is all for this week. Have a great weekend and we will see you back this Wednesday night on Pay Per View!
Jeremy Borash
TNABorash@aol.com |
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Bro's ' Real From the Inside ' 8/18/03
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Hats off to the entire crew for what ended up being one of my favorite shows in TNA history this past Wednesday night. ( You know every week Borash comes off with some corporate company shill line like ' Great Effort from Everyone Involved '... ' Best Show to date '... ' Wow, what a show from top to bottom, like I've stated before You can dress a turd in a dress, but underneath it's still stinks and it's a turd ) I think I know the Asylum crowd better than anyone, and I can't think of a time where the crowd was as up as they were Wednesday night. In fact, I will go as far as to say that I have never heard the crowd louder than they were during the Raven/Shane Douglas match. It was a rush being out there during it. ( Now, I'm not making any assumptions, but tell me if you read that sentence in a gay voice, he sounds like a male cheerleader after a big game cheering for the football team )
TNA Xplosion has improved ( To the point of where we are thinking from changing the production from that of a Mrs. Smiths' Kindergarten Play to that of The Cable Acces show ' Gerry Ober, Dance of the Retard ' ) to the point where we are thinking of renaming the show Xpansion. Stations are being added weekly, and we hope to have some very good news to cable television subscribers in New York City and Philadelphia soon. ( You know, I have to question how much effect it has when Xplosion reaches all the way to Dimwiddle Al, where noone can order the PPV, seems kinda stupid to me. )
Xplosion also has a new look and feel to it, as we now have lots of backstage interviews that are shot during the show with the wrestlers as they come back through the curtain. It is a bit different, and really is worth checking out. Go to NWATNA.com for a complete station list.
The TNA show for one penny will be on September 10th, and will be a must see for those of you who subscribe to iN-Demand PPV.
Those of you with DirecTV will have a very special show of your own that night as we will be airing the Best of TNA Championship Matches. This 9.95 PPV will be a first look preview of our upcoming DVD release by the same name. ( 9.95 for a Jarrett dominated program that does nothing but stroke the perverbial phallic nature of Jarrett's ego??? No thanks )
While Chris Daniels has been preaching the gospel according to the Fallen Angel, Jeff Jarrett has been logging some serious road miles preaching the good word of TNA. Last weekend Jarrett spoke before a large gathering of cable television operators in Canada. ( No wonder TNA is not getting a cable deal, there sending out Hillbilly Harold to promote it, hire some people to promote the product, you know people that do that for a living) Getting the word out on TNA is the absolute key to our success. I think the product is there... the awareness now needs to grow.
How much does a crowd impact the performers in the ring? More than anyone probably gives it credit for. The more responsive the crowd is, the more the wrestlers get into it. I've noticed that pretty much everywhere I've been. ( That must explain your other paragraph about how hot the crowd was, quit speaking out of both sides of your mouth TrashCan Lid Terry..... Plus if the crowd was so hot, why were you looking in disbelief when people were not cheering during the Shane vs. Kazarian match......???? Plus censoring the crowd can really make a crowd seem dead, you know it's a bummer to have someone infringe on your first admendent right... It'd be like Ryder or Jarrett telling you not to be a royal ShatFace to the customers or marks )
3LK had a great ovation for their PPV debut, and were very over with the fans. ( You know Borash, you may want to stop with the ' BUSINESS ' talk, I mean who knows what wanton Cable Exec. may come across this site and not know what the term ' over ' was and interpret it as 3LK were floating over the crowd, that doesn't sound too fun. Plus it's pretty apparent why 3LK is over, you've taken the 3 demographics of the average TNA fan and combined them into a group, which is basically racial profiling, but hey, insulting the paying crowd and using there own stupidity against them is an awesome business practice, I just wish people were smart enough to pick up on it )
The Fallen Angel will make his in-ring PPV return this Wednesday night as he teams with Legend to take on Jeff Jarrett and Erik Watts. ( So Jarrett will lose a series of Tag Matches, then have a singles match against Daniels and win..... It's kind of like the sentencing phase before your incarceration. You still are free, but you know soon enough all that will be taken away from you...... I guess the message of Sports Entertainment is ' Be Held down by Da Man ' )
Look for the upcoming Ultimate X match to be like nothing you've ever seen in wrestling. If Sabin, Kazarian, and Shane pull off half of what they have planned for this first ever (not many of those left in wrestling) event, this match will have people talking. ( People generally talk all the time, I've brought up this match in passing, which means I've talked about it, but I've also talked about ' the Kennel From Hell ' match too )
From the mind of Don Callis, this Ultimate X match will have two highwires crossing in the center of the ring with the X-Division title hanging above. There will be no ladders. The only way to get the belt is to scale your way across the highwires to the middle of the ring. This idea alone leaves the door open to some spectacular moves. ( MonkeyBars F-in' Rocks!, I just hope there's a Cliffhanger-esque scene in there somewhere )
Ballpark Brawl will take place next Sunday in Buffalo,NY at the home of the Buffalo Bisons. Jeff Jarrett, AJ Styles, Raven, and many other TNA superstars will be on the show.
I was flooded with some great indy show stories in response to my column last week. And what timing, too. Bill Behrens had a great story from last Friday night at a show he was at in Athens, GA Anytime the cops are called to an indy show, usually there is a great story to come of it. ( You must really have to be ' From the Inside ' to know this story, I'm sure it's very entertaining, so much so you couldn't share it with the public abroad..... One time I went to an indy show, and in the crowd was Jeremy Borash and he was wearing a visor and he was sitting back like Cool Daddy Cole and he conned someone into videotaping the show so he could go score some tail.... True Story )
Our condolences go out to the family of longtime Minneapolis wrestling personality Ray Webbe who just passed away. Webbe hosted the very first wrestling radio show I had ever listened to back in the 80's. I used to sit outside in my mother's car for two hours every Sunday night and listen to their show because no radio in our house had good enough reception. Ray was a great friend of this business, and will be missed.
AMW will take on Simon and Swinger in a double bullrope match this Wednesday night. I really have enjoyed this feud in TNA. ( And after Simon and Swinger lose this week, next week where gonna have a Quadruple Bullrope,Cowbell on a pole, shoelace,rawhide strap,spur match, with the winner getting to beat the everloving sweathog that invented all these gimmick cowboy matches )
I don't get home to Minnesota much anymore,( Shame for us here ) but there are certainly a lot of people I miss involved in the wrestling business from that area. My good friend Slick Mick Karch (from our Wrestling Radio show) still resides there, as well as former TNA office guy Mortimer Plumtree. They are all running a big show in early September with Jeff Jarrett and AJ Styles on the bill, but unfortunately I will be in Montana during that time, and will not be able to make it. Minnesota has a great wrestling community with some very colorful personalities... it is the one thing I really do miss about not living there. ( While reading this, I'm thinking to myself, man I'm glad I get this riveting info only from ' From the Inside ' )
TNA's Super X Tournament is going to be spectacular. TNA is bringing in everyone from the UK's Johnny Storm ( Burp ) to Mexico's Juventud Guererra. Nosawa will be debuting for TNA in the tourney as well.
Look for Abyss to become a big time player down the line. He moves incredibly well for a man his size and came back a completely different person after a year in Puerto Rico. All that ring time must have done him some good. Little known factoid about Abyss... he has a masters degree and played for the Steelers in the NFL! Not bad for a big scary dude . ( Well he played for the Steelers, he got that part right. Ummm I'm thinking Borash and Ryder have a Big Guy Fetish )
That is all for this week! Thanks to the many of you who support our product every week... we really do appreciate it. ( That line wasn't actually written by Borash, it was written by the Company's ' Smoother-Overer ' yeah he comes in to make sure everything is PC. )
Jeremy Borash
TNABorash@aol.com |
Yes, after flip flopping days on the release of this column, I had many people say they enjoyed it better on a Friday so I, Jeremy Borash being a man of the people will oblige and put it out on Friday from here on out (or at least that is the plan this week).
Fairly solid reviews from this past Wednesday night from the masses. AJ and D-Lo had a very good cage match, with a good finish. I think the feud has been good for both as I think they have brought out the best in each other. ( Except for the fact that AJ is fucking phenomenal and you book him as a weak ass champion, and its not just me, the smug,cynical reporter, I am, who believes this, but others. Many Others.. Hey AJ, call me I got a Jeff Jarrett bodysuit you can wear, maybe itll get you some respect )
There was several minutes of footage shot after the show went off the air last Wednesday night that will air this Wednesday. ( Im awaiting that like the full week on training at my fucking job this week and a root canal.. Fuck YEAH! )
The first half of our double main event this Wednesday night will see the return of the American Dream Dusty Rhodes as he teams with America's Most Wanted to go against Gilberti, Diamond, and Swinger. This will not likely be a one shot return for the dream, if you will. ( OK, if I will, let me get this straight youre gonna pair two overly-excitedable,speech impediment rednecks with a guy who looks like hes either allergic to cameras or forgot his lines every time he delivers a promo. EXCELLENT. Ive got an idea. How about we dress two pigs up like the king and queen of France and watch them have sex in the ring. Be more enjoyable than that shit, for sure! )
The one cent show TNA will be offering to all iN DEMAND customers will be much more than a best of.( Finnally, A TNA show that you can sit back and go Fuck Man, I sure got my moneys worth . One Cent.. Thats Money. In other news. Direct TV said that TNA only sells about 2500 ppvs a week, I bet that number at least grows by, what, maybe 4 orders with this one cent deal???? ) We are going to make this show a definite must see.( Compared to that horrible special Best-Of Documentary put out months ago that would make the production values of the Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee XXX video win a fucking oscar in comparison ) In addition to bringing everyone up to date on the latest TNA storylines, two matches I would consider the best in the company's history will air on this event. If you missed Jarrett/Raven for the NWA Title, or the infamous AMW vs. XXX cage match, you will get to see them for just a penny. Not a bad deal in my book.
The first annual TNA SUPER X CUP TOURNAMENT will take place on our September 3rd show. The X-Division names already signed for this one night tourney will be fantastic. Look for a lineup announcement this week. ( As were still feverishly making phone calls to book the talent.. )
A neat story AMW's Chris Harris told me about the late Curt Hennig. If you had never spent much time with him before, Curt came off a little intimidating. However, after you met him and spent any time with him, he was the kind that made you feel like you were his best friend. Chris Harris and Curt became close friends in the final months before his death. Sometimes after a show they would head to Nashville's most famous saloon, Tootsies. This hole in the wall bar is legendary, as on any given night you could go there and see anyone from Kid Rock to Toby Keith play an impromptu jam session on a stage the size of a closet. This tourist draw has been around forever, and the hundreds of pictures on the wall tell of its amazing history. Curt made a lot of friends there over the years, and when he passed away, Chris Harris framed the photo used on our TNA tribute to Curt and brought it to Tootsies. This framed photo now hangs right on the corner of the bar that Curt would always stand. According to the staff there, many a toasts are made to the memory of Mr. Perfect, and many Waylon songs are played in his honor on the jukebox. It still is hard to believe that he is gone.
Randy Savage releases a rap cd and Lizzie Borden and Rob Black get arrested in the same week. Then I go see the movie Seabiscuit and in the film some guy is doing shots from the breasts of Kimberly Page. I know immediately what you are thinking... Borash... why the hell would you go see Seabiscuit. ( Exactly, cause you look like a fucking moron with no taste.. Stick to movies more suitable for your kind like Lizzy Maguire and American Wedding )
If that wasn't enough, Arnorld Swartzenegger and Gary Coleman are running for Governor in California. Interesting that Arnold's Predator cohort Jesse Ventura did the impossible and won, so I guess anything is possible, but I will say this I know Jesse Ventura Jesse Ventura is a friend of mine and you, Arnold Swartzenegger are no Jesse Ventura. I just had a 1988 flashback.
Gary Coleman is also running as well. Everyone who reads this column knows how I feel about that little bastard. Our paths will cross again, little Arnold, and don't think I won't beat your ass. ( I have this awesome angle where everytime Borash starts to cheerlead like a fucking pre-pubescent Richard Simmons, Gary Coleman appears and hits him upside the head with a variety of dead fish and then runs away )
Hats off to Jody from our PR office, who pulled a great prank yesterday on AMW and Bob Ryder by convincing them that the new AMW shirts were going to be pink (a manly shade of pink, according to her). Hook, line, and sinker to the point James Storm left the TNA offices in a huff and Bob Ryder actually said the words "over my dead body." It was perfectly orchestrated. I give it a solid 9 on the rib-o-meter. ( If you think of the typical demographic of AMW fans a pink shirt would sell, I doubt way too many dudes would buy an AMW shirt. The team just sorta screams Homo )
I found the 3 Like Krew vignette this week to be very Conan O'Brien-esque. Nothing says comedy gold like a shirtless middle age man caressing himself in a trailer park.( What little do people know that the middle aged man caressing himself was, Eddie G. , sorta loses that certain touch of, oh whats the word oh yeah reali fucking ty ) 3LK will make their PPV return this Wednesday night in action.
The official decision will be announced this Wednesday night on the status of the X-Division belt after what happened between Kazarian and Sabin. ( you mean this week or what happened three weeks ago or the week before that??? Maybe an official announcement can be made that goes something like this Due to the fact we dont know fucking anything and would overbook our own mothers funeral we have decided to drink rats poison and put ourselves and you out of the misery )
Danny Doring suffered a stinger early on in the match this past Wednesday night, but was feeling better after the show.( In other news, Doring will be the TNA Blimp at this years Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade . I like Doring and all, but Jesus, Gigantor, what the fuck happened??? Someone feed you after midnight? )
Mad Mikey got a huge response on the matches that will air this weekend on Xplosion (check NWATNA.com for a market list... we are adding new stations weekly). I've really enjoyed the Mikey vignettes. ( I have a perfect vignette.. How about Mikey is soooooo MAD, hes gonna lose to Elix Skipper in his first match oh yeah that idea has already been taken Fuck, I gotta start sipping some fucktard juice to think like the brainless douchebags that book this shit )
If there is anything I like more than good road stories, ( Its man sausage getting stuffed between my flesh biscuits ) it is good indy show stories. Well, technically bad indy show stories. There was a locker room sellout Wednesday afternoon in front of the television monitors as someone brought a video of a horrific indy show that had maybe 12 people in the crowd. No one could take their eyes off it. I have been blessed with two great stories this week alone, and both are somewhat related. ( Heres one, Once, I wrote about bad indy shows in my From the Inside and everyone STOPPED FUCKING READING!!!!! )
Whether we're talking about the vast array of Hardy-esque-dressed up and comers, or seeing the ticket guy end up in a battle royal because most of the boys went home already, you never know what you are going to see at an indy show. I usually try and make one a week. ( And schmooz my way into the pants of overly anxious female talent that I swindle into believing theyll have a shot on PPV, knowing in my heart they never will, but because of my low self esteem Ill use them for whatever I want too )
Our first story takes us to a matchup that recently took place in Ohio. I will leave out the specifics to not offend the parties involved, but I heard this one and immediately delivered an 85 Road Warrior pop to the storyteller.
The matchup was, and I'm not making this up... Spiderman vs. Bruce Banner. What else are you going to do with a Spiderman gimmick costume? Spidy got all the heat on Banner. It was a complete squash. They battled outside of the ring, and all over the building as Spiderman showcased a tremendous offensive arsenal of punches, kicks, and uh... more punches and kicks. Sure enough... and I bet you can see this coming a mile away... they battled to the back, to where Spiderman dropkicked Banner through the curtain. Sure enough moments later, a more muscular wrestler painted in green emerged through the curtain and went on to completely squash our webmaking marvel. ( I dont know why this is so fucking horrible Seems to tell a pretty good fucking story, which TNA lacks, two basic characters that the fans can relate too, which TNA lacks..Although any Marvel fan wants to debrain the sweaty mic monkey, Borash for calling Spiderman. Spidy . Im gonna SPIDY in yo eye, Holmes What a clueless Shit Stain in my boxers he is )
The other matchup actually happened between two TNA wrestlers on an indy show in Tennessee. Yep, it was a five man battle royal. I'll leave the two TNA stars out of this for their own integrity, but their oppoents in the battle royal? Freddy Krueger, Jason, and... Frankenstein. Now I know Krueger has done several tours for All-Japan, but Frankenstein hasn't worked a match since the classic New Orleans 60 minute broadway with Roop. Well, let's just say a tape of this will be in high demand. ( Unlike, many of our past PPV offerings.. )
So, the morale of the story is if you are hard up for cash and own a horror flick costume you can probably get some work on the indy scene. ( Or we can learn that indy wrestling may have some pretty entertaining shit )
The Raven/Shane Douglas matchup will finally take place this Wednesday night as the other half of our double main event. ( And the crickets Chirp ) See you back on Pay Per View this Wednesday night!
Jeremy Borash thebro1869@hotmail.com
TNABorash@aol.com
| Wearinf, is a cool word! |
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Bro's ' Real ' From the Inside For 8/5/03
For the second time in TNA history, the tallest cage in professional wrestling will once again be put up to house the battle between AJ Styles and D-Lo Brown. After the many wars they've waged, there really was no other way to settle this red hot feud. ( Well I gotta take exception to this..... ' Many Wars '??? Borash acts as if these men have been fighting since TNA's inception..... They have what 3-4 matches..... And there are many ways to settle a feud... I vote for a beat down where they pick up a certain ring announcer and beat the shit out of each other with it.... That way, everyone wins ) Both men have had great matches together, and will likely turn it up volumes due to the significance of this encounter in the realm of their battles. ( Where is that perverbial switch located on the human body where you can ' turn it up volumes ' I've scoured my body and still haven't seen it yet..... Borash please let me know where that switch is... Thanks )
The return of Christopher Daniels caught many by surprise at the end of the show Wednesday night. Daniels destroyed Jeff Jarrett at the end of the show and set the stage for what should be an interesting situation this Wednesday night. I think the next six months will be the biggest in his career.
Representatives of a major video game company were in attendance last Wednesday night and were said to be very impressed with the program. Nearly every week, we seem to be entertaining potential business partners at our events, which is a clear indicator on how good the future looks for our company. ( or you could say it was a clear indicator that they were drunk from the SWAG beer on hand )You can see a day long promos for TNA on channel 102 on DirecTV every Wednesday. ( I'd rather watch Maury and see which baby's momma's daddy, father brother is the father with a paternity test )
Just for the record, Shawn Michaels and Michael Shane are indeed cousins, and not nephews as has been said elsewhere. Originally, Shane was promoted early in his career as his nephew due to the age difference between the two.( seriously, does anyone give a shit??? Ricky Morton is my cuz, but I don't see you writing about that, Jodie Foster Junior ) Shane will be back this Wednesday night.
Jeff Jarrett and I attended the Brickyard 400 in Indianapolis over the weekend. 380,000 fans were expected to attend the event. I have never seen anything like it before in my life. The pit area of a huge race should have a red carpet, with all of the celebs that were hanging out. It was quite a scene.
Not at the event over the weekend was the beautiful and vivacious Bea Arthur, who attained cult hero status during our WCW Live! days. If you are looking to kill some time, I'd recommend going to www.beaarthur.com. ( which mind you, is about an ederly actress and is up and running unlike www.jeremyborash.com.... wonder who would get more hits??? Bea Arthur or Jodie Foster Junior ) After visiting the site I was particularly amused by the "Fibs and Facts" section where they address the rumors of whether or not she is a transvestite, a lesbian, or my personal favorite if she is dead. It is a great read because the whole thing is serious. ( after cleaning up my keyboard and pulling my fingers from the splooge stained keys ) My second favorite pastime is going on her message board and starting a thread claiming Bea Arthur was a no talent wench and Rue McClanahan was the real star of the Golden Girls. I then sit back and watch the fur fly as Bea Arthur fans post their disgust in such a statement. What we do to amuse ourselves these days. ( Hey I've heard a story about that... I think it ends with ' anal bleeding ' ) The main picture of her on the site has her holding a microphone that is the exact color of her hair, and at first glance it passes for a Manchu. God bless Bea Arthur, and all of those promiscuous Golden Girls.
Look for more streaming media available on the net from TNA very soon. We are working on getting Xplosion available for free over the internet. ( As it would be the only way people would actually sit through that ' Clint Howard-ish ' show )
You will be able to see many of the top stars of TNA coming to Buffalo, NY for a show in conjunction with the Bisons baseball team later in the month. ( Oh, the good ole days when the Bisons were the triple A affiliate of the pirates and actually funneled us decent players, now we get the Sounds ) More on this next week.
The six-man match between Raven, Alexis, and Julio vs. Shane Douglas and the New Church was very solid this past Wednesday night, and really helped break out Alexis as a star. She can take a beating and has shown a great offensive arsenal as well.
What are people listening to in their cars these days? In Jeff Jarrett's cd book you will find everything from Everlast to Eminem.( I seriously don't know whats funnier... Jeff Jarrett's hair or the fact he listens to Eminem... I can see him now listening to that god-awful 8-mile song while primping in front of the mirror.. ' ok game time, cheif, you got one chance to squash this jobber, is it in you??? Huh, come on Cheif ' ) Don West and I both are fans of the new Audioslave disc and Lenny Kravitz. Jerry Lynn still maintains the largest collection of death metal music I have ever seen. I am very open minded when it comes to music, but the death metal deal confuses me. I really don't think there is that much to be angry at unless you saw Gigli over the weekend. ( Cue Rimshot )
Look for new merchandise for 3 Live Krew and Trinity in the upcoming weeks.
( I have no problem with Trinity getting merchandise, but 3 Live Krew??? What the Fuck! Where's Kid Kash's merch,Jerry Lynn,Chris Sabin and Shane Douglas merchandise??? What purpose is 3 Live Krew for anyway??? To make people go, ' wow, you know that was so un-funny that I can now enjoy carrot-top again ' ) America's Most Wanted take on Simon & Swinger this Wednesday night, with four whips being placed on the ropes available for use during the match. Most people I talk to in the industry ( that would include - Jerry Flynn, Glacier and John Tenta ) go out of their way to see AMW matches, as they always deliver a solid match.
This week, 3 Live Krew will be heading to the trailer park. In the interest of staying one with the streets, you too can talk like the 3LK by incorporating the following phrases into your everyday vernacular "Do the Damn Thang," "Fo sheezy my neezy," and my personal favorite "Ya heard me, dirty." (quickly pronounced Yeh-herd-meh-dirtay). ( Cocks gun and places it to head ) Cars on blocks houses on wheels what is there not to love about the trailer park?
Look for an announcement soon for Xplosion getting television clearance in Oklahoma City and Tulsa.
Pet peeve? People who take another call while you are on the phone with them and are gone for more than 60 seconds. I have placed a telephone communication ban until further notice on one of the TNA girls after it happened twice in the same call. ( maybe it was because you fucking freaked her out, hearing a faint whacking sound, heavy breathing and your cheruby little voice moan, would fucking freak me out too ) Outrageous. I informed her all discussion must now be done in person, instant messenger, or by telegram. Yes, telegram. What happened to people who used to deliver telegrams back in the day on TV? ( Check your creative Staff, I'm sure a few are on there ) Are they out of work these days? Does anyone still send a telegram?
The new AJ Styles shirt is the hottest selling TNA shirt on the market right now. ( Could it really be called a market??? there's like what 5 shirts, that's not really a market, considering the Jarrett and original Styles shirt would make a blind man scream, the ' Smack it ' shirt is only for juvenile assholes, such as yourself and the ' watch your back ' shirt looks like the other generic TNA shirt, I wouldn't exactly call it a huge market... Of course selling 25 of those would make it the hot seller..... Sidenote : The HeelSection Shirt is still the most popular and widely sold T-Shirt involving TNA.... ) I really like the design on this one. You can see it in the merchandise section of NWATNA.com
Shark Boy masks will be available at the TNA Asylum this week and on our website next week.
( Or you could mark out like a silly fucker for Borash and he'll toss you a free one )I recently received a copy of the recent AVN awards. Vince Neil opens the show with an embarrassing rendition of Girls, Girls, Girls. Vince looks like he's been eating a lot of food, food, food. The show just went south from there. Highspot of the night was a woman winning an award for her movie role where she performed the most intimate of unspeakable intimate acts with a gang of people, ( that act was kissing, yes to the subtle, virgin eyes of Borash it seemed like a lewd act, but it's very common ) and then thanked God and her parents. That my friends, is the true definition of pure comedy gold.
Don't forget to catch Don West every Wednesday morning on the John Boy and Billy radio show. The show can be heard in over 200 markets.
Who do you want to see Mad Mikey beat the hell out of? TNABorash@aol.com. Mad Mikey will be going to the mall this Wednesday night. Hopefully he will beat the crap out of the mall inhabitants who always stop and ask people to take surveys. Thator any of the young hipsters who work at Old Navy who walk around with a headset on. Does retail clothing really warrant a headset? Does the place fall to hell if they they run out of cargo pants in men's wear?
There is a very exciting X-Division tournament being put together for next month. More on this next week.
Head of State, the Chris Rock movie that features a scene from the TNA Asylum featuring everyone from Athena to B.G. James comes out on DVD a week from tomorrow. I am even listed in the credits as "Ring Announcer," which is great. ( What a crowning fucking acheivement.... ' Ring Announcer ' that's like right there with ' Best Grip ' and ' Gaffer Boy '.... ) I might have to go back and watch this movie again as I might have blinked during my scene. As long as those royalty checks come pouring in every couple of months I guess I could give a rat's arse ( you're not english, dude ) Yes, WCW people are still getting checks from Ready to Rumble. No wonder everyone wants to do movies.
Frankie Kazarian and Chris Sabin will battle one more time for the X-Division title this Wednesday night. I have enjoyed their matches together, and this Wednesday night should be nothing short of fantastic.
Jerry Seinfeld on wrestling? "Professional wrestling. The question you have to ask yourself about professional wrestling is a simple one. If professional wrestling did not exist, could you come up with this idea? Could you envision the popularity of huge men in tiny bathing suits pretending to fight? Could you sell this to a promoter? "I'm telling you, Sid, millions of people will enjoy watching this. The guys'll be huge, we'll put them in little suits, and they won't really fight. Professional wrestling is the only sport where participants are just thrown right out into the audience, and no one in the crowd thinks anything unusual is happening. If you're watching a golf tournament and Jack Nicklaus goes flying over your head - first of all, I would say you're watching a very competitive tournament. And how about the professional wrestling referee? There's a great job. You're a referee in a sport with no rules of any kind. How do you screw that up? The referee is kinda like Larry of the Three Stooges. You don't really need him, but it just wouldn't be the same without him. They must get these guys from the same place the Harlem Globetrotters get their refs. There must be this whole school where they teach you to just kind of run around and not notice anything. They sit you down, show you a film of the rubout scene from St. Valentine's Day Massacre, and if you don't see anything illegal going on, you're hired." ( Now that my friend, is Comedy )
Don't miss this Wednesday's epic cage match between AJ Styles and D-Lo Brown! We will see you this Wednesday night!
Jeremy Borash
Bro's ' Real ' From the Inside 7/21/03
Ah yes JB back again with your dosage of From the Inside. Someone told me this column was great bathroom reading material, which is fine but who has a computer in their bathroom? Well, a printer or a laptop would do it I guess just as long as said reading material isn't used in place of toilet tissue. ( If you were to use this as Toilet Tissue it may cause..... ANAL BLEEDING )
( Insert Here Obligatory Company Shill Fodder )Wednesday night was a good showing for TNA, and build very well for this Wednesday night. The top three matches on the show were announced, and all look to be very good on paper going in. The AJ Styles / D-Lo Brown matches have been some of my favorite in TNA, and they are looking at this Wednesday as one of the biggest nights in their careers. The best of three matches between the two will not happen one after another this Wednesday night, but instead will be spread out. The first will be pinfall only, the second will be submission only, and if there is a third the NWA World Title will be hanging above the ring in a ladder match. Mention the words ladder match and AJ Styles in the same sentence, and you have the makings of a memorable night.
Also announced for this week will be Raven, CM Punk, and Julio vs. The New Church and Shane Douglas, as well as AMW vs. Simon & Swinger in a rematch from two weeks ago. ( Seriously....... Shane Douglas in The New Church makes as much sense as The Pope in a Porno )
The New Church made their return to action this past Wednesday night. Slash and Brian Lee had some legendary battles with AMW, and have a very solid following.( Sorta looked like Brain Lee was auditioning for the Cover of ' I Look like a Skeleton ' Montly with as much weight as he lost. ) Check out www.the-new-church.com to see some amazing artwork on Father James Mitchell's EVIL tag team.
I am proud to announce that America's Most Wanted were signed to a long term deal with TNA today. ( Excuse me while I go vomit up my innards...... )
I said last week that you could expect to see some surprises show up, and the Amazing Red, the Church, and Norman Smiley showed up. I will make that same bold claim for this Wednesday night. ( Can Norman Smiley be really considered a surprise. If so, I liken that surprise to going to the urinal and finding warts on your hog )
Red says he wasn't at 100% this last week, but it still was good to have him back. ( Despite the fact he could permantly do horrible damage to his injury )
I had a chance to see IPW Hardcore Wrestling's TV when I was visiting some friends in Tampa two weeks ago. ( Actually they were his two parole officers in that incident with the retarded Scouts 3 years ago ) They do a nice job and have some very good video packages on the show.
Hats off to Justin Credible and Jerry Lynn for their great match this past Wednesday night. Blood was gushing out of Justin Credible to the point that I got on the headset to the back and informed the paramedics to be ready for him when he gets through the curtain, as he was losing blood at an alarming rate. Luckily, he was attended to immediately and was feeling as well as could be as expected after a match like that.
I guess WCW is back. http://www.ticketmaster.com/artist/841273/ ( Spike Haired, Sweat Stained,Cheerleading, Mic Jockey's Need not Apply )
Look for some major improvements to be made on TNA Xplosion in the coming weeks. ( With the first improvement being the replacement of me with a Retarded one legged chicken ) The show will have a whole different look to it very soon, as we continue to add new markets on a weekly basis. You can see if Xplosion is in your area by checking out www.nwatna.com.
Bill Behrens = Faboo. Enough said. ( Actually that's not enough said.... What is he faboo about??? Vaccuming? Ironing? Whittling? Tell Us Chump )
Rudy the Referee wanted me to clarify that he was not intoxicated when he recently sang "Runaround Sue" in the karaoke area at Hurricane's Nightclub in Nashville. "I don't need to be drunk to make a fool of myself," he told me after reading last week's article, to which I responded "I will take the obvious for $200, Alex." ( What is the epitome of a Sweat Stained Pedophile with Spiked Hair and fondles the mic with the slikiest of silk strokes??? Answer : Jeremy Borash )
I guess I should be more careful about what I write in this column, after being called out on the PPV by Glenn Gilberti and his team of Simon & Swinger. I stand by what I say when I sincerely believe there isn't a better tag team in the business right now than America's Most Wanted. I received a very large amount of email from people who agreed, and some from people who disagreed. Many said they were comparable to a team on Smackdown. I guess if you compare the PPV cage match AMW had with the PPV ladder match this other team had, you'd see where I am coming from but either way, credit has to be given to both teams for how they have risen so quickly in this business. Opinions are opinions everyone has themjust like uh, well you know the saying ( Just like myself..... An @sshole )
As far as getting to physically assault Glenn Gilberti on our PPV? Let's just say TNA gave me a birthday gift a few days early Yep another year older and another year wiser for JB this weekend.
I wear an earpiece so the truck can talk to me during the show, and often times I have to have it up so loud to hear over the crowd noise that I usually can't hear for an hour or so after the show. Let's hear it for going deaf in my 20s! ( I file this in my ' I don't give a sh*t ' folder... But seriously if you had a hard problem hearing over the crowd noise Wednesday Night you must be deaf..... That or the crowd noise was pumped in over your headphones as well )
Good to see Norman Smiley back in TNA this past week. Norman definitely makes my list of favorite people in the wrestling business. I have been on several overseas tours with the master of the big wiggle, and he's one of those guys who never says a bad word about anyone,( But I will ..... Norman Smiley is like the Herpes of the wrestling world.... You see him and you're like ' oh my god it's Norman Smiley, this sucks ' then he dissapears, only to reappear later and your left with those same feelings ) and has a great sense of humor. ( Just look at him )
I have become an audio/video gadget geek ( Just became huh? ) since I've gotten into video editing. I store all of my mp3s on a 20gb Ipod, and just yesterday I had my computer geek guy (pot calling the kettle there) gimmick my Tivo so it can now record 260 hours of television bliss. Tivo is the greatest invention since the thong, and I credit the newly married Billy Kidman for getting me, and nearly everyone else in WCW at the time to jump on the Tivo bandwagon almost three years ago. I sincerely believe 260 hours is far too much television to have on tap, but Bob "late to the game" Ryder bragged to me about his 60 hour Tivo, so he left me no choice but to go completely overboard. Bill Banks finally got one last week, and if it wasn't for his 8-track car stereo, I would be surprised. Vince Russo is the worst when it comes to electronics, as his VCR has been blinking 12:00 since 1987. ( Did I mention I have a small chub?.... Or is it overly apparent? )
If you live in the Birmingham area, ( God have mercy on your souls ) Jeff Jarrett and I will be there next weekend for a show in Sylacauga. I'll have details next week. ( We're all waiting with baited breath...... As well as learning the art of stitching, making apple seed cobbler and the art of blinking our eyelids )
Can you close this week with another story from the road you ask? Alright this one (and there are many from this tour) comes from the first UK tour we did with the World Wrestling All-Stars about a year and a half ago. The tour was a ten city, 18 day tour of Ireland, Scotland, England, and Whales. With the exception of the Ireland dates, all of the travel was done on tour buses. With 20+ wrestlers, management, valets, and referees, two coach buses were needed to take us around the UK. ( We also needed 64 other buses for the wrestlers Ego's )
I had the difficult task of dividing up talent that would ride on bus #1 and bus #2. Knowing the vast difference in personalities on this tour, and the fact we would be spending two weeks traveling around with the same people, careful consideration was given to who went on which bus in order to keep a harmonious balance. Bus #2 was going to consist of the more rowdy bunch the type of people who would enjoy a beer or two while Snoop Dogg was blaring on the speakers over sitting down with a good book to pass the time. Bus #1 would be for the more subdued wrestler like Bret Hart who brought his daughter on the tour with us. In a weird twist, Buff Bagwell ended up on bus #1, but that was because I was threatened with violence by bus #2 people if I didn't put him there. Sure enough, a rivalry soon started between the buses, culminating when we stopped at a restaurant on the way to Cardiff, Whales.
While we were all sitting down eating lunch, Brian Lawler made an open challenge to anyone on bus #1 to a drinking contest. Lawler was taken up on the challenge by a wrestler on bus #1, and completely annihilated him. ( Imagine that, will you? ) Lawler was still going strong by the time this wrestler hurled for the first time. If that wasn't enough, Lawler, who minutes earlier just won said drinking contest, wasn't done there. He then got up and challenged anyone on bus #1 to a foot race outside of the restaurant. Sure enough, bus #1's Stevie Ray stepped up to the plate, banking on what everyone thought would be an easy win against Lawler. It was like being at Arnold's on Happy Days, with the Fonz challenging someone to step outside and everyone clears out to go watch in the parking lot. Norman Smiley brought out the video camera, and the race was on. Representing Lawler and my comrades on bus #2, I showed my support by wagering a Benny Frank against bus #1's Andrew McManus in favor of Lawler. Soon many were taking action on the race, and when all bets were called, it was time for the showdown between bus #1 and bus #2. With pride and bragging rights on the line, the foot race started. It was over before it began, as Lawler amazingly destroyed Stevie Ray, and bus #2 celebrated a decisive victory. What a victory for bus #2, and what tolerance showed by Brian Lawler. The best thing to come out of this however, was a big morale boost for everyone. Being on the road for that long, especially when the wrestlers are banged and bruised up after several shows and miss home, it was just what everyone needed to lighten the mood and have a good laugh. That tour was one of the hardest, but most fun couple of weeks I've ever had. There are a lot worse things than getting paid for traveling the world with some of your closest friends doing what you love.
Don't forget that this week will be a huge night in the careers of AJ Styles and D-Lo Brown with their best of three series set to decide who will be the NWA World Champion. Could this be the night Brown makes good on the promise he made on the memorable night he debuted in TNA by winning the NWA World Championship? Or can Styles hang on to the belt he fought so hard for during the first year on TNA? Tune in this Wednesday night to find out! ( The smart money is on Jarrett upstaging it all... In fact why don't they just cast Jarrett as Superman.... Yeah ,he has the Golden Locks, overcomes bat shots to the spine and numerous beatdowns.... His Lex Luthor could be Russo and his krpytonite is the jeers of common people, his lois lane cpuld be the NWA Title and his parents could be Sarah Lee and Jerry... Man what a perfect storyline )
Have a great weekend and we will see you Wednesday night!
Jeremy Borash
( And in case you were wondering I name-dropped 28 times in this report.... I'm pretty desperate when the longest name drop was for Brain Lawler )
TNABorash@aol.com
Bro's 'Real' From the Inside 6/30/03
What a way to start out our second year of TOTAL NONSTOP ACTION with a show that may go down as our most critically acclaimed effort to date. I loved it, and it reflected what I hope will be new a new creative direction for the company. I've been saying it since we started... it is time to be exactly what we say we are... it is time to be Total Nonstop Action. Period. We have the talent to do it, and the need to be a true alternative. That is, without question, something we can pull off much better than our competition, as proven by Wednesday night's show. ( Yes Total NonStop Action is a good thing, but don't underestimate the power of good promos,storylines and character development. )
Congratulations to AMW/Triple X, as we have a new #1 topping off my list of all time favorite NWA TNA matches. I felt like I was back at the St. Paul Civic Center as a kid, ( As i was turned down for autographs again ) as no match has generated that kind of emotion in me since. Please ask yourself this - can you think of two better tag teams in the industry right now? I can't. Seriously... name one... I dare ya.( Team Angle is better than AMW...... Plus you can actually understand what they say in promo's..... XXX has no equal competition as there in a league of there own my friend ) And don't say Tushisaka Yumiyagi and Iponema Sukiyaki from Japan, because nobody knows who they are, and furthermore they don't actually exist. ( Oh, you got me ) I would love to hear if there is a better tag team out there. Seriously, I'm curious...tnaborash@aol.com.
A few quick tidbits about these teams. First, I'll tackle Triple X. With Low Ki on the sidelines, it has been up to Elix Skipper and Chris Daniels to carry the load. I've always had the strongest belief in Chris Daniels as a talent, and an even stronger belief that like TNA itself, the only thing keeping him down was exposure. Like TNA once again, Daniels started to get the attention of the masses and is determined to not pass up this opportunity. He is off to Japan for a short while, but will still have a presence on our show in his absence. ( As a matter of fact, we figured we could make a cardboard cutout of him so Jarrett could perform the stroke on someone willing and who could sell it great... So watch out in the coming weeks for Jarrett giving the stroke to Daniels' cardboard cutout at various locations...... This week Jeff Jarrett goes to the grocery store.... Jarrett : ' What???, Geri Curl was priced at 3.49 a tube, you're charging me 4.59.....???? ' Clerk : ' Yes, the price is 4.59 ' Jarrett : ' Well, I'll be a scalded Dog, I'm angry than a junebug getting it's wings ripped off ' Enter Jeremy Borash running up to Jarrett with Daniels' cardboard cutout, with a smile on his face...... Jarrett : ' Why you smiling chump???, you think you got it easy cause you got a baldhead you cueball slapnutted chump??? ' Daniels' cardboard cutout just stands there with the smile on his face.... Jarrett : ' Stop smiling, you're making me angry!!!!! ' Jarrett then proceeds to punch the cardboard cutout and gives it a stroke in the checkout line...... Jarrett then dusts off his shirt and the counter lady asks him if he wants paper or plastic..... )
Elix Skipper? Easily this industry's most improved wrestler in the last six months. His amazing balance and incredible athleticism have really come out since teaming with the Fallen Angel. What a story he has. With Daniels off to Japan, look for Prime Time to make a big impact on his own.
A year ago, 99% of the wrestling community had never heard of America's Most Wanted. Now, I'd say they are widely regarded as the best tag team in the industry. The whole time AMW has carried themselves as professionals with a great attitude. The younger generation of talent has a different mindset than some of the veterans, and quite frankly, it is both refreshing and contagious to those of us who share in their desire for success. We are seeing more and more up and coming talent like Kazarian, London, and Sabin earn their spots through hard work and a great attitude. Hats off to Harris and Storm. The best part is, their best days are still ahead of them as well.
I guess it is time to take our hats off as well to Bob Ryder, who has certainly fought some political battles on their behalf since TNA started, and when many people had doubts in the beginning, completely proved everyone wrong. A very satisfying feeling I'd bet. On the flipside, my political efforts on pushing Cheeks as a main eventer have still fallen on deaf ears. ( Are you kidding me??? Frank Parker should be in the main event, He carried Cheexs' cratered @ss to a 5 star match )
The Sting interview will be the first shoot-style interview he's ever done. "Sting: Behind the Paint" is a very compelling piece of video that was a complete monitor sellout in the production truck. The interview will air this Wednesday night. Mike Tenay did an absolutely fantastic job talking with Sting. Look for the Stinger to discuss things he's never talked about in public before. It may sound like a cliché, but this truly is Sting like you've never seen him before. ( Well I've seen Sting withought his makeup on, I'm sure most fans have... So therefore the saying ' Like you've never seen him before ' should likely be worded ' Like you've never heard him before '....... I'm a rocket scientist too )
Some have given TNA lots of credit for "listening to our fans' on the internet." While that is certainly true, the interesting thing is that for the most part, when we read criticisms, we aren't surprised by what we often see as it is usually no secret to us what needs fixing. ( So the whole ' Listening to our fans ' thing is a mute point, huh? ) TNA is a company that learns from both its mistakes and successes.
Raven and Glenn Gilberti both suffered injuries during the tag team match last night and needed to be taken to the hospital. I talked to Gilberti this afternoon and he will be laid up for three days, as he is suffering from back muscle spasms. He described it to me as a "10" on the meter-o-pain. Strangely enough, the only things that have ever registered as an "11" are the new Hulk movie and any wrestling match involving Tiny Lister. ( Obviously you are a man with no taste as ' The Hulk ' was a great movie..... But you seem more like an Aquaman fan anyways )
The big announcement I was talking about in last week's From the Inside was Tuesday's announcement that Frank Romano has been brought on as C.O.O. of TNA. Romano comes to us as a former VP from iN-Demand, and will open up the New York office of TNA.( And he moonlighted on that un-funny CBS Comedy ' Everybody loves Raymond '.... ) TNA has a solid product that with the right exposure will be very lucrative. The product is there... now it is time for the business side of TNA to kick into overdrive to make sure that happens. Romano is a huge acquisition for TNA, and I'm very excited about what he will bring to the table. ( A turkey Leg, perhaps some giblet gravy, or maybe hogjow? )
Go read the most recent guest columns post on 1wrestling.com. A gentleman named Charles Beckman from Salt Lake City gave his account of his visit to Nashville's TNA Asylum last week for the anniversary show. Very interesting read.
Is there any doubt that Tenay and West are the best announcing duo in wrestling today? The amount of respect shown by the talent to them alone is quite remarkable. They seem to be universally respected backstage both personally and professionally.
The trio of Konnan, BG James, and the Truth have been very entertaining the past two weeks.( For the Moronically unfunny people who still find ' yo momma ' jokes funny, adorn there cars with ' piss-on ' stickers and laugh at Gallagher ) A little time away from the business has certainly done BG James well, as he has come back very inspired and definitely focused.( And Fat ) He has always been one of the most entertaining people in the business, good to see that he's back. ( And Fat )
BG James did an impression of Don West that even outshined the job Will Farrell did on Saturday Night Live a few years back. ( Seriously, no ...... It was somewhat painful to watch ) If you've never seen the SNL skits (they parodied West three separate times on SNL), Farrell's impression of West is priceless. I will say this much... I'm quite proud of what I've accomplished in life...( You really shouldn't be ) but if you can go around making the claim that you were parodied on SNL, you are in a class of your own.
This Wednesday night we will see the in ring debut of the monster that has been helping Kid Kash destroy Eric Watts. There still has not been a name given on the air to this monster. That will change this Wednesday.
There was certainly no shortage of blood on the show. Definatley more than planned, but the physicality of the action can result in that sometimes.
TNA girl Tyson was late to the show Wednesday night. Her excuse was that she was participating in the Playboy Scramble Golf Tournament. My good friend Chelsea was plucked from the crowd to fill in with about five minutes notice, and she did great.
The Jerry Lynn/Justin Credible matches have been doing a great job of building to this week's chain match. This week's contest will likely be the match you've been wanting out of the two. ( Oh man, I can't wait till the following weeks match ' The Razzle Dazzle Spirit Match '.... That's right Jerry Lynn and Justin Credible will be given pom-poms and be allowed to do there three best cheers and spirit chants..... The judge for the contest will be the Greatest Cheerleader of all time, Jeremy Borash..... Seriously though, why have gimmick matches between these two, have an all out, anything goes type match, but remember, I'm not telling them anything that they don't know already, Borash O'Haire )
Those of you wondering if it is a conscious effort to beef up the size of the security can rest easy. Yes. Stay tuned.
Another story from my WCW days you ask? ( Not really, but since you haven't named dropped but 13 names compared to the usual 45, I figure why not ) Well, its Friday... ok. I guess it is finally time to come clean on the day I conspired to do physical harm to someone. I'm not exactly proud of this, but after four years, the story needs to be told.
I believe the town was Buffalo, NY. WCW had a PPV there and my day was actually pretty light. In WCW, PPVs were either completely hectic for me, or practically a day off. On the big events, I would host a live six hour pre-show on the preview channel without taking a break. Those were exhausting. ( also this is where my love of Catheter Bags started ) Other shows, I would just host the WCW Live! post show, which was a walk in the park. However, no PPV experience compared to the one in Buffalo, NY, as I was about to endure pain like never before.
Since this day was rather light for me, I was asked to look after Gary Coleman, who was being brought in to appear on the PPV. ( Your parents must be so proud ) Bob Ryder had arranged the appearance for WCW, so I got Coleman's number from Bob and called him to finalize his airline info, hotel, ect. ( Ask him to describe the aroma eminating from his underpants, you know the usual ) We flew him first class and I was to pick him up in my rental car at the airport at 4pm that night, take him directly to the arena, and make sure he had a ride back to the hotel after the show. We had a pleasant telephone conversation and everything was set.
I pick up Gary Coleman up at the airport, and immediately he starts in on me. His first statement to me is "Where is the nearest train or hobby store?" I told him I had no idea, but I would be happy to call information and find out for him. I said he would have time to do a little shopping before his flight in the morning, and I would arrange for someone to take him around and then get him to the airport. I had to be at our Nitro production meeting right away in the morning in Rochester, so I wouldn't have been able to go with the little fella. ( Does anyone else here, bet Borash's attitude probably rubbed Coleman the wrong way??? )
Well, things went south fast, as Coleman turned heel by insisting that he was promised to be taken to a train store before he went to the arena. A train store? What the..? Ok... whatever you say little Arnold. I kindly explained to him that we needed to get him to the arena immediately for a pre-tape. He started to fuss and actually refused to get into the car until I called and got directions to a hobby store. I thought he was ribbing me at first, but it became apparent to me very early that he was serious. Could the kid I watched as a child on Diff'rent Strokes really be this big of an a-hole?
I lucked out and found a huge train and hobby store that was just minutes from the arena, called and told the owner of the situation, and the owner agreed to keep the store open just for us. We were already running late, so I told him he had just a few minutes. Coleman walked into this model train store like he owned the joint. I've never seen anything like it. Of course, the owner of the store flips out when he sees him, which only fueled his fire. He started to bark out statements like, "if this was a real train store, you'd have the 1954 Wellington Caboose with the gold plated chasse..." Not only did he never thank the guy for keeping the place open for us, but he acted like the store's selection wasn't up to par. To this day, I've never seen anything like it. ( I have..... it involved Borash and Beer, lots of it, and not sharing !!! )
30 minutes later and five phone calls from WCW office later, I finally was able to drag him out of the store and made a mad dash to the arena. I was ready to throw him out of the moving car. ( For some reason I have this weird vision of Borash, Bald-Headed, with Those John Glennon Glasses on and probably some flashy visor with his Don Johnson Ice Cream Colored Suit on with no socks... No wonder Coleman was an A-Hole.... Borash always resembled Dr. Moreau with his head shaved.... )
On the way to the arena, and I will never forget this... he informed me that under no uncertain circumstances would he udder the phrase, "whatchu talkin' bout Mike Awesome," as was scripted. Stating that his popular "whatchu talking bout..." phrase was in his past, and he has moved on. He doesn't say that anymore. By this time, I was considering driving off a bridge and putting us both out of our misery. ( Dear Lord Jesus, please not that down.... ) I really do have a lot of patience with people, and acted professional the whole time, but in my head I was already planning revenge. One way or another, little Arnold was going to pay.
We arrived at the arena, and I immediately pulled Jimmy Hart aside, and told him that I had to hand off Coleman to him, as I was about to lose it, and Jimmy has the most patience of anyone I know. Jimmy laughed it off and pitched a solid relief outing.
It came time to go over the segment with Jeff Jarrett and Russo, and sure enough, he wanted more money to take the guitar shot. What a worker. He had agreed to everything well ahead of time, but was trying to do everything he could to make this difficult. Everything was worked out and he finally agreed to take the guitar shot.
After going over this surreal situation, I pulled Jeff Jarrett aside and did something I still have not come to terms with. ( I stuck my tongue in Jarrett's ear and humped his guitar ) I actually offered Jeff Jarrett cash to nail that little bastard as hard as he possibly could with the guitar. Now, Jarrett always swings for the fences with ol' Slapnuts, ( Now if that's not a reference to some gay escapade between the two, I don't know what is ) but this time I wanted him to swing the guitar like he has never done it before, in an attempt to actually injure little Arnold. Now, once again, I'm not proud of my actions, and in retrospect I'm glad Jarrett took the high road and declined my financial offer, ( Four Pennies, your foreskin in a vial and belly button lint is not very lucrative ) but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.
Now, an interesting Oliver Stone twist to this story... I think there may have been a leak. Not that there were any shortage of stooges already in WCW, but I have strong reason to believe that someone tipped Gary Coleman off to my plan ahead of time. If you go back and watch the tape, Coleman takes the guitar shot, his baseball cap falls off, only to reveal a large amount of toilet paper coiled into his hat to try and cushion the blow. The tape doesn't lie.
It actually feels good to get that all off my chest, and after completing my anger management classes and court ordered community service work, I feel much better. I will say this much though... little Gary... if you are reading this... Don't think I've forgotten about you. I still want to beat your ass. ( Somewhere, Someone in TNA Land is reading this going through there rolodex, looking for Mr. Drummond's home phone # )
I'm off to Daytona Beach for a weekend of sun and pina coladas on the beach. It has been an exhausting couple of weeks. I need it. God bless. ( Wow, I'm lucky a week before I'm supposed to go..... At least my hot factor will be maginified by 600 percent after he leaves )
Jeremy Borash
TNABorash@aol.com
Bro's 'Real' From the Inside 6/23/03
Hey gang welcome back to another edition of ' From the Inside ' from the Semi-Gay and Always Lame Jeremy Borash. Well, what a massive show we put on Wednesday night from all angles. I didn't have a chance to really enjoy the festivities of the week as I was searching for the proper fonts to portray my fascination with Nottingham Woods and Robin Hood, luckily, I had saved my Windows 96 database of fonts and pulled them out at the last minute. Nothing conveys Total Non Stop Action like Nottingham Forrest Fonts..... IMO, Gang.
Speaking of Packages and Fonts... I was going to put together a ' Best Of ' for yours truly. I figured I would give myself a, Barry Horowitz inspired, Self High Five.... I was gonna put my Endless Cheerleading of the crowd, me getting speared by Ed Ferrara,DDT'd by Raven,Stealing various people's signs like a fox in the night and me making Lee Conners look like a fetus with no legs with my Heel Section inspired leap from the end of the ring to there section to stop the paper throwing.... I was gonna do it in slow-motion with Bullet-Time graphics to show my true Athletic prowress. I was gonna set it all to the Haunting ere of ' Wake me up before you Go-Go ' and intertwine it with ChickenHat dancing seductively in a pair of Tight John McEnroe Tennis Shorts, A Tank Top that say's ' Take a Picture ' and a pink,flourescent Headband... But I scrapped it at the last minute, due to the fact that I don't need packages to tell me how cool and special I am, I have underage children to do that for me.......
The after-party-party for the Anniversary show was off the Hizzle fo' shizzle, See I'm cool, I can say that..... Most people didn't even notice I was there, because beforehand Jerry had asked if I wouldn't mind being the Janitor/Sandman Vomit Mopper for the event. I didn't mind and in fact Syxx-Pac lent me his Janitor uniform he wore during the main event that night..... Hey I'll give it up to Syxx-Pac, when the party got dull he pulled up his shirt and let us play Connect the Dots on his back..... wow that kid has alot of zits, but the Bell Biv Davoe skecth i did on his back, stole the party. Jerry Jarrett gave an inspired speech during the party, at least that's what I'm told...... I was actually above the set on the roof holding the strings that moved his arms and legs during the speech.....
I visited with Desire who is as hot, hurt, as she is Healthy.... Seems she wasn't too thrilled with the vial of Huey Lewis Chest Hair I carry around and stick on my chest to attract the ladies.... Yes, chalk up another restraining order for yours truly! Note To Self : Maybe Tom Selleck Chest Hair will do it....
Who are the seven women who have restraining orders against me.... Newly included Desire,My Mother,Missy Hyatt,Julia Childs,My Sister,Sunny and Jasmin St. Claire seems I accidently soiled myself when she was giving me a lapdance......
Hey gang want some inside info, Huh, do you? Ok that Trinity package I shot, that wasn't a real police officer driving off, that was Fairgrounds Security..... They are real important and during the week, they have important things to do like breathe oxygen in and out, sit in there car and listen to the radio and get this gang... blink there eyes, Whoaaa, yes truly these are some ' True Grit ' Po-Po's and we were lucky we only got out of that encounter with a minor citation...... And the citation had nothing to do with the shoot, mainly to do with my clothes, seems you can't dress like a young Barry Manilow in Nashville anymore......
Again speaking of citations....... I did have a real life encounter with a citation once....... Well Gang the story starts out like this..... I was in love with Greg Gagne, a Minnesota Twins Shortstop from back in the 80's - early 90's.... Anyways about that time a bleached out, bimbo used to run onto the field and give the players a big hug and kiss at home plate, and security would let her get away with it... Well it was game time, so I went to the bathroom in the seventh inning and changed into an outfit to resemble hers.... I ran onto the field when he was at bat.... and hugged and kissed him, unfortunately it was hard to hide my excitedness when I'm wearing skin tight Hooter Shorts and have hairy legs.......
CM Punk has heat for shoving food in Lollypop's face after the show on Wednesday during the after-party..... seems his punishment is for him to sit shackled,unable to move as I read to him ' The Art of War ' in my Hard-10-inspired voice..... That should get him back......
Hey gang, I find furry animals attractive, in fact I am the purator of an ALF-Lovers website...... What's not to love about the kooky creature from Melmac....... I'm going skydiving with Max Wright this weekend who played Willie Tanner on the ALF Television series... We're culminating work on an ALF inspired workout video......
This weekend folks I'm gonna go sky-diving with some super cool celebrities... This weeks list includes Yakov Smirnoff and John Schneider....... I'll name drop like a drug informant!
Well unfortunately I've got important stuff to do, like pick the dead bugs out of Humongous' new hair weave..... That's my roomate you know??? And do Jerry Lynn's Dishes and clean his bathroom..... That's my roomate too, you know??? Gosh It's so cool to be ol' JB.....
Bro's 'Real' From the Inside 6/16/03
Jeff Jarrett's seven month title reign as NWA World Champion came to an end last Wednesday night in a finish that had as much crowd reaction as anything I've seen the arena. ( Besides you getting a DDT from Raven, A sign that said ' Cheer if you hate Borash ' or Ed Ferrara laying you out... wow what a pattern )
The announcement of Sting signing with NWA TNA certainly should help kick off our second year in a big way. Sting's debut this Wednesday night at the NWA TNA One Year Anniversary Show will definitely not be a one time deal. While I cannot disclose the terms of the agreement, it looks as though we will be more of Sting in TNA's future. ( Plus we get to look forward to months of those fancy Sting ' jumping ' graphics... YAY )
Congratulations to AJ Styles who earned every bit of his spot as the new NWA World Champion. I remember the first time I saw Styles at NWA Wildside many years ago, and instantly was blown away by the talent he had. I remember telling anyone who would listen in WCW that he needed a dark match, which finally happened in Baltimore. Bob Ryder reminds me about me forcing him out from behind his computer in the back to go out to the arena and watch AJ's dark match. Like myself, Ryder was instantly amazed at this incredible talent.
Within days, WCW signed him to a contract, where he appeared for a short while before the company folded. The WWE opted to not renew his contract, and he resumed life back at NWA Wildside.
When TNA was first being put together well over a year ago, several of us were so high on Styles that he not only received one of the only long term contracts given out at the time, but Styles was actually the very first wrestler to ever sign a TNA contract.
Thankfully along the way, Styles has had a very strong support team in his corner of people he trusts to help him make the right decisions when it comes to this industry, and like any good student, he listened and learned. The exciting part about this is that he is still very young, and is always one of those guys who will be a student of the game. Wrestling is his true passion in life, and has earned the respect of everyone in the wrestling business in a very, very short time. The best part for AJ Styles? The ride has just begun.
The unlikely duo of New Jack and Shark Boy once again get this week's backstage segment of the week. Absolutely hilarious stuff from TNA's odd couple. ( Speaking of Odd Couple's ChickenHat found a razor recently and shaved, now this makes it easier when we make out not to get that embarrasing red circle around my lips )
Someone made the observation to me that both the NWA and WWE World Titles are now held by the youngest people to ever hold the belts. I believe Tommy Rich may have been younger. I guess this is becoming a young person's business. Being in your 20's rules. ( But not going to ' Coolsville High ' has hampered your coolness Rash )
I talked to Desire minutes ago and she is still in pretty rough shape after suffering a back injury in her match on Xplosion. In addition to what has been reported, Nielson actually fractured her tailbone as well. This, in addition to her broken L-1, has made for a completely miserable couple of days for this beauty. Kim is an absolute sweetheart of a person, and was in pretty good spirits on the phone today. She is such an active person that taking away her mobility has to be a hard lifestyle change. She's a tough girl, though, and I bet she's already thinking about when she can get back in the ring. ( See : I NameDrop like a Drug Dealer cutting a deal with the cops )
Vince Russo's decision to side with AJ Styles played out very well, telling a story over a three week period raising the question on where he was going to end up. ( Thanks to The Bro for actually pitching this idea to several unnamed people )
Interesting to not that 1wrestling.com was the only major wrestling website to review the incredible WWA PPV show last Sunday night. I was quite surpised by that, especially considering all of the buzz coming out of it. ( And interesting to note is that in Borash Speak ' not ' means ' note ' ) I felt more comfortable behind the mic for that show than anything I've ever done before, ( Except for actually being behind ChickenHat ) and while I'd never want to give up my job ring announcing in TNA, I certainly don't mind getting behind the mic calling a match from time to time. ( Speak for yourself ) I must admit my renewed interest in play-by-play was inspired by marking out for Tenay and West during TNA events. As someone who has been in their shoes, they are good. Damn good.
Well, I'm sure it was a surprise to Mideon to check several internet sites and find out that he was brought into TNA last Wednesday night. The man who helped out Kid Kash was indeed not Mideon, but a man who has torn up the IWA in Puerto Rico for the last year, where he wrestled as Abyss. Abyss is now under contract to NWA TNA and will serve alongside Kid Kash. He is one of the best working big men in the business today. Keep your eye on him. ( Is it really humanly possible to keep your eye on someone??? Maybe ' keep on the lookout ', but actually keep an eye on someone would probably annoy the person and freak them out )
My two cents? ( No thanks, but I have a feeling you will anyways... I mean why even pose that question if you're gonna answer it yourself.... have a poll or something to see if anyone wants your ' two cents ' ) TNA should sign Matt Sydell out of St. Louis, who is the closest thing to the Amazing Red I've seen come along in a while. ( Oh that witty Borash... Red Hair = Just like Amazing Red...... Scut Farcas is calling )
Paul London will take on Chris Sabin for the X-Division title this Wednesday night. That one should be a show stealer. ( Could have been with proper build-up, but seeing as how there has been no build to the match and the fact that when London comes down the ramp, only the smarks know him, is not a good thing... Character Development people... Watch Family Matters !!!! )
Jerry Lynn celebrated a big birthday after the show at Jillian's in Nashville following Wednesday night's show, with most of the TNA roster showing up to help celebrate with the MVP of TNA. Among the noteworthy moments of the party included the very youthful looking Shane Douglas getting carded (he was thrilled) and seeing the new NWA World Champion bowling. ( And Jerry leading the patrons in the Chorus to ' Living Dead ' by Entombed and Fist pumping at the same time )
The many rumors and speculation on political infighting amongst the creative folk of our company certainly makes for compelling chatter. Here is what very few understand about situations like this, and believe me, I've been in many situations like this. Infighting is a sensationalistic word for creative differences, and is often blown way out of proportion in the grand scheme of things. Creative differences will always happen between people who are passionate in what they believe in. A creative process that doesn't involve creative differences isn't really a creative process at all. Wow, that was too deep for a Friday afternoon. Pass me a Blatz! ( This can be summed it like this...... Jarrett and Russo and Raven and Gilberti don't see eye to eye... it leaks on the internet.... People in the office get upset... I shill a half truth.... )
Speaking of which, I was at an indy show a few weeks back when one of the wrestlers was out in the parking lot drinking an Old Milwaukee, or as we used to call it back in the day, Old Tennis Shoe. My first thought was, what is he broke? Then I realized that the houses have been down lately, and not all the boys can afford good beer these days. He said and I quote, "when the territory was hot, the boys were all drinkin' Miller High Life!" Those were the days. ( Again I'm the Beer Natzi and didn't share my Bud Ice with him.... Later my tires were slashed with the words ' Die you Scum Mic Jockey ' keyed on the side..... )
Well, I gave in and I am going to go skydiving with Scott Baio and Konnan in California in two weeks. I'll post pictures of the event after it takes place. ( Please don't unless it includes you, embedded 16 feet into the ground with no sign of a parachute being deployed )
On a personal note, I want wish Kevin Nash good luck in his main event match this weekend. He has been able to return from a career threatening injury, and unless you've had something like that happen to you, you have no idea what it is like to go through. In an instant, it changes everything about your life. Someone once told me the physical pain can't compare the mental pain you suffer from an injury like that. Which brings me to my all time favorite moment in WCW Live! history If you love toilet humor, strap on your seatbelt.
WCW Live! was really a different kind of show. We really didn't have any rules on that show, which is what made it so good. We were never given any direction. In fact, I don't think management ever even listened to the show, judging by the sexually driven content of Catering Talk, Nitro Girl Thong Thursday Extravaganzas, and Friday night trivia (that is a different column altogether, but I'll never forget when we set Big Vito up to lose a wrestling trivia contest to Fred the Elephant Boy of the Howard Stern Show). One night, we decided to place a random call to Kevin Nash. Little did we know that we were about to encounter a monumental moment in WCW Live! history. ( Kevin Nash was actually off the couch walking at a brisk pace... AMAZING )
Although it caught us off guard when Hulk Hogan admitted to doing our show while on the porcelain throne, Kevin Nash topped it. Nash had just finished off giving birth to, as he put it, a "beautiful 8 pound, 6 ounce brown baby boy." Make no mistake about it, he was quite proud, ( As it was the first physical exertion he had had since popping a beer tab 4 hours ago..... He had to rest afterwards as he was very winded ) and it was time to say goodbye with a sorrowful flush. Nash provided commentary for the event, which even included sticking the phone just inches from the water, where we could hear every rotation as it departed. This was truly groundbreaking radio. Nash's luck would take a turn for the unexpected, when the said item didn't quite make it to its final destination. ( Much like Nash's career, lot of promise, little delivery )
Yes, we now had a situation on our hands. Nash pondered on his two options. His first suggestion was to use a coat hanger to disassemble, or risk flooding and go for the very ambitious do or die feast or famine second flush. Nash did the only thing any person in his position would do, and went to the people. For the next 15 minutes, we opened up the phone lines to our listeners to vote. We were instantly flooded. Our 1-800 phone records showed it to be the biggest influx of calls in the history of the program. It became obvious early on that the public wanted the second flush. Nash, being a man of the people, declared that the public had spoken, and a second flush was going to take place. Now, realizing the potential for flooding, Nash nervously awaited as we counted down. Sure enough, Nash's gamble paid off, as the second flush proved to be successful. The celebration ensued, the chatroom went crazy, and his bathroom floors lived to be dry another day. Nash always provided for great entertainment, and has a sense of humor that is in a league of its own. ( And it wasn't the first or last time Nash was upstaged by a Turd )
A correction from my report from two weeks ago. Konnan's father's real name is not actually Wink. It is the name of his grandfather.
Sandman needed medical attention following the show as he was suffering from back pain. Taking a senton dive from the top rope and landing on nothing but a ladder will do that to you. ( And I'm sure you know first hand... FART )
Oh, we're not done there. Raven needed stitches as his head was opened up during the main event.
Good to see Shane Douglas in NWA TNA. Shane Douglas is one of the best promo guys in the business and I can only imagine what having Douglas in TNA will mean for Raven. ( And Jesus Wept )
Our condolences go out to Dusty Rhodes on the loss of his mother. Rhodes was informed of the news right before he was going to appear at a show in Nashville Saturday night, and immediately drove back to Atlanta.
Writer Pat McNeil lost his mother this week as well, and our deepest sympathies go out to his entire family.
TNA's outreach to our Latino audience continues to grow. ( As Rick Santel will be bussing groups of illegal refugees across the border in an unmarked Tractor Trailer just in time for this Wed. anniversary show..... He is truly the Future for these people ) This Wednesday night will be the first night TNA is offered with live commentary in Spanish. TNA Spanish commercials and 15 minute preview shows have all been produced as well. ( Weirdly, from early reaction it seems the LAtino community hates Borash as much as the English community..... Imagine that.... )
While gang warfare has become the norm in the ranks of TNA, a gang war of different proportions has erupted within the TNA Asylum. It seems as though the veteran Heel Section fans suddenly face competition with the arrival of the very vocal Asshole Section,( Burp ) who have come on the scene like a powerhouse. There have even been rumblings of a female faction within the Asshole Section, something that the Heel Section has always lacked. ( Man, ok Evil Lynn is a chick and she's in The Section..... Good Call @sshole... Hey wait a minute ) One of the guys from the Asshole Section made the comment to me that the Heel Section are like the smartass guys in high school that hung out together but never got laid, and have gotten lazy in their efforts to remain the #1 fan faction in the Asylum. Interesting observation indeed. ( what's even more interesting is that Borash made that comment up, just like other comments that I won't delve into here.... But you can check out the Forums at www.heelsection.com and under Socks = Talent, you can see a very drunk Borash posting.... ) One advantage the Asshole Section has going for them is that they have secured hard camera ringside seats, which will ensure more face time. ( We don't need a camera to put ourselves over...) Like the wrestling business, competition is good. More on this story as it develops. The Heel Section fans do have their own website, however, at www.heelsection.com.
Fans in Australia will also get to see the Anniversary Show live as it happens on Main Event PPV this Thursday. Go to www.mainevent.com.au for all of the details on ordering.
This afternoon, Hermie Sadler, driving the TOTAL NONSTOP ACTION WRESTLING #2 Chevrolet qualified 18th for the Winston Cup Race this Sunday in Detroit. TNA has seen some incredible benefits from our association with NASCAR. You can see the TNA car race at 12:30 EST this Sunday! ( Those benefits would be sponsoring a driver who falls from 18th to last in a matter of a half lap??? Putting your name on a car that noone will see besides paramedics and mechanics??? Yeah a lot of good that does )
Big plans are being finalized for the One Year Anniversary Show Post-Show Party that will take place in the TNA Asylum immediately following sign off this Wednesday night. Charlie's Angels Full Throttle will be sponsoring the event which will include an all-talent meet and greet, as well as some great prizes. There is actually going to be a post-show-party-post-party for all of the talent and employees that is going to be held at a secret location. ( The cave underneath my house where I keep the secret bodysuits I wear..... See I'm
Deals are being put in place to TNA Home Video to release several titles in the very near future. ( IN TNA terms ' very near future ' means ' just availabe in time for your grandkids to give to there kids ' ) DVD's will be offered as well. Tenative titles will include a Best of the X-Division, Best of TNA Ladder Matches, and the Genesis of TNA, a look back at the first year of TNA. Keep checking NWATNA.com for details.
I'll leave you this week with the official preview for this Wednesday night's huge NWA TNA One Year Anniversary Show!
AJ STYLES & MYSTERY PARTNER VS JEFF JARRETT & STING
AJ Styles defeated Jeff Jarrett last week to win the NWA World Heavyweight Title, with help from a surprising source.Vince Russo. After taking out Raven and Glenn Gilberti the last couple of weeks with a baseball bat, Russo crashed one of Jarrett's own guitars over his head to set up the win by Styles. Immediately following the match, Jarrett challenged Styles to a rematch, but Styles declined and said he had 30 days before he had to defend the belt against Jarrett. Jarrett countered with a challenge that Styles couldn't pass up. Jarrett told AJ to find a partner and to face Jarrett in a tag match on the Anniversary Show. Jarrett's partner is none other than the former NWA World Heavyweight Champion and former 6 time WCW World Heavyweight Champion STING.
STING is one of the top names in the wrestling business and will be making a rare appearance on the TNA Anniversary Show on June 18. One of the most beloved performers in wrestling history, STING will be competing in his first televised match in the United States since his final appearance for WCW on the last episode of NITRO.
TRIPLE X (Champions) VS AMERICA'S WORST ACTORS
TAG TITLE MATCH
AWA w the rights to challenge Triple X by winning the Asylum Alliance Tournament with a win last week over David Young and Tracy. Chris Harris & James Storm were the hottest tag team in the business just a few months ago, but have had their problems of late. Those problems seem to be behind them and they have their minds set on recapturing the tag titles against Triple X. It won't be easy, though, since they have failed to get a win over Triple X in three previous attempts. Chris Daniels & Elix Skipper will have an insurance policy in the form of Low-Ki, the third member of Triple X. Low-Ki has been out of action with an injury, but will be at the Asylum this week to make sure things go Triple X's way.
CHRIS SABIN (Champion) VS PAUL LONDON
Paul London is the current number one contender for the X Title but has been unable to take advantage of his chance to challenge for the title because of commitments in Japan. Sabin doesn't appear to be anxious to face London, who like Sabin is a rising star in the wrestling business. Sabin, perhaps looking forward to the match with London, nearly lost his title last week to Shark Boy in what would have been a major upset.
JERRY LYNN VS JUSTIN CREDIBLE
This grudge match, between two former ECW Champions, has been building up for a few weeks starting with a disagreement in a tag match and exploding last week in an appearance in the "Interrogation" segment that ended in a wild pull apart brawl. Both men feel they have something to prove and both will be looking to get a win that will move them into title contention.
MIKE SANDERS VS NEW JACK
HARD 10 SEMIFINAL MATCH
On paper this looks like a total mismatch. The "Hard 10" tournament format would seem to play right into New Jack's hands. Afterall, you can't get much more hardcore than New Jack. Sanders has somehow survived the hardcore competition so far, and is hoping his luck hasn't run out. Hopefully the TNA trainer has added a staple remover to his medicine bag.
D-LO BROWN, SANDMAN, & FRANKIE KAZARIAN VS SONNY SIAKI, DAVID YOUNG, DON HARRIS
Frankie Kazarian says he's the "Future", and he was certainly impressive in his TNA debut a couple of weeks ago. This week he gets a chance to show that deserves a permanent spot on the TNA roster. He'll be teaming up with D-LO Brown and Sandman to take on three members of Sports Entertainment Xtreme.
Also on the show: BG James, Konnan & Truth have requested a sit down interview with Mike Tenay and Erik Watts will be out for revenge against Kid Kash.
That is all for this week! See you Wednesday night when we celebrate our one year!
Bro's ' Real ' From the Inside 6/9/03
Another solid effort this week from TNA, and I think we are on the road to some very exciting upcoming weeks.
The Vince Russo turn on Glenn Gilberti now sets the stage for some questions to be answered. Where does this leave Russo now that he has turned on Gilberti? We'll hopefully find out this Wednesday night.
The main event this Wednesday will be AJ Styles vs. Raven vs. Jeff Jarrett for the NWA World Title. A huge match just one week before the TNA One Year Anniversary Show. ( Don't blow your load before the anniversary show.... PLEASE )
The good folks at iN-Demand have been tremendous to work with, and continue to back TNA by adding an immediate replay of the Wednesday night PPVs for the West Coast Fans on iN-Demand PPV Channel 1 starting last Wednesday. This is great news for our West Coast fans. There will also be a Sunday replay at 3:30pm EST on iN-Demand 2. TNA ADDS PRIME TIME WEST COAST REPLAY Chris Blechschmidt ( God Bless You ) has joined the TNA family and was introduced to everyone prior to the show Wednesday. Chris comes with a tremendous background in Pay Per View marketing, coming to us from Team Services (WWE) and iN-Demand PPV. Chris will be a great addition to the TNA team. ( I seem to remember a certain someone at the beginning of this venture who screwed TNA, who had worked for WWE in the past, man I hope this doesn't happen again.....)
Also joining TNA is former WWE/WCW writer/producer Bill Banks. Banks is another workhorse who will certainly help in TNA land. ( Where Storylines end with no resolve and Talent Audition Tapes are aired during live PPV )
The Main Event match for the TNA One Year Anniversary has not yet been announced, but the rumors I am hearing are quite exciting. Much of it will be based on what happens this Wednesday night. Wish I could say more. ( But unfortunately my job duties of writing this conflict with me scrubbing the toilets at approximately 4:30 pm here everyday...... Bad News is that Dusty Rhodes just changed his diaper in there... Good News, Well I am Hungry )
Look for Frankie Kazarian to become a TNA X-Division mainstay.
Speaking of that, there are a tremendous amount of new wrestlers invading the X-Division scene. Who will be the next breakout AJ Styles? ( Jesus, where's the Love for Jerry Lynn??? Everyone throw up a Fist Pump for Jerry, Main...... )
Had a chance to catch up with some of my long lost pals from WWE land last weekend in Vegas while taking a quick weekender in sin city. ( Talked to the Hand Mae Young gave birth to, He's doing well, he's actually a pimple popper for those hard to reach back pimples that adorn the back of Triple H and other Gassed up Freaks... We also had our picture taken for our little club called ' Our Parents Embarrasments ' we put out a weekly E-Zine and a Newseltter to join go to www.borashisboss.com ' Had a great time at the pool area at the MGM Grand last Saturday in 100 degree heat. Interesting to see how many former WCW people help run that company these days. ( Interestingly enough through the current product, it wouldn't come as much of a shock there, genius )
Longtime wrestling visitors to Vegas will be saddened to hear that the infamous post show hotspot, the Betty Boop Bar at the MGM is no longer. WCW had shows in Vegas every few months, and that bar was always the place to be after the show. ( Mainly 'cause I was at Crazy Carl's House of All You Can Eat Hog Jow )
Also had a chance to visit the home of Professor Mike Tenay and his lovely wife Karen while in Vegas. ( Word is they were surprised to come home and find that there was a pile of burnt socks in the middle of the floor, 6 pair of Tenay's old lady's undies were missing and a lingering smell of sweaty b@lls...... Saving the feet kingdom from the cotton confines of socks and wearing women's underwear daily... it's a hard life, but someone's gota do it ) I would slaughter a small deer with a butter knife to have their backyard out in the desert. I love the heat! ( Being the offspring of Satan, I could certainly see why )
I love music, ( Go to www.heelsection.com and in the forums check out ' Heel Section Approved Bands ' I posted my favorite bands there for everyone to check out ) and am proud to say that I am an authority on wrestlers who have ventured into the recording studio to grace our eardrums with a blissful outpouring of personality and vocal stylings. As a bonus to this week's From the Inside column here are my top five wrestling songs of all time, as written by yours truly if I reviewed music for Rolling Stone or USA Today.
#5
With the crispful decadence of reflection, Slick's pimpadelic "Jive Soul Bro" earns him the opening slot of wrestling's top five songs. The song journeys into the mind of a young man's epic meeting of a little lady who claimed he always lied to his friends, and would never get nothing in the end. Throughout the song, Slick reinforces that he was indeed an honest man, and that he heard the same old story from every girl that walked through the door. Truly amazing that this was Slick's one and only musical performance, as his buoyantly irrelevant vocal musings were nothing short of ghetto fabulous. ( Adaptly named after my pain the ass, Bro from www.tnattitude.com....... This song could actually mirror my life )
#4
Coming in at number four is Nikolai Volkoff's rendition of the Russian National Anthem. Permeating his perpetual patriotism towards Mother Russia, Volkoff educated millions of wrestling fans to an anthem that to this day no one knows the actual words to, but can still sing. ( That's quite an oxymoronical statement there, Hoss ) Nearly every performer on the bus during the last WWA tour knew the song, solidifying Volkoff's legacy as the wrestler who not only always delivered a solid vocal performance, but more importantly broke down the language barriers between Mother Russia and his American comrades. While most fans voiced displeasure during his live performance, in every crowd emerged a group of heel fans who would stand at full salute during his performance while everyone else booed. That's tops. Need I say more? ( Actually no.... for once you got it right )
#3
Often dubbed the "We Are the World" of the wrestling business, The first single off of "The Wrestling Album" entitled "Land of 1,000 Dances" emphasized what a wide vocal landscape Rick Derringer, the producer of the album, had to work with. The song's curtain closing disruption by Roddy Piper resulted in musical mayhem, with Pat Patterson making the ambitious declaration that he was going to resolve the situation by buying up all of the television and radio stations, and we would never see Piper's ugly face again (a threat rumored to have inspired Piper's decision to pursue a movie career). Ironically enough, only now could this approach by Patterson be legally possible with this week's passing of the new lenient FCC broadcast ownership laws.
#2
Capitalizing on the popularity of the Chicago Bears "Super Bowl Shuffle," from the melodic mind of Verne Gagne comes our number two favorite wrestling song of all time, the WrestleRock Rumble. Gagne enlisted the services of producer Jimmy "Hot Fingers" McCallahan (Krokus, Molly Hatchet, Thompson Twins) to capture the essence of the AWA's answer to WrestleMania, WrestleRock. Although the masses have yet to figure out how an event named WrestleRock could be headlined by a Waylon Jennings concert, Gagne made up for it with the soulful release of the WrestleRock Rumble. The lyrical exploration was deeply insightful, from Greg Gagne's poignant "I'm Greg Gagne and I'm in a rage I want Brody and I want him in a cage" to Sheik Adnan's "I'm the Shiekand that's not funny I make my men lots of money," the WrestleRock Rumble was a metaphoric journey into the violent underbelly of competition, capturing the gritty turmoil these dogs of war were experiencing going into the big event.
#1
Long before the Crusher "Did the Hammerlock," and Mean Gene sang "Tutti Fruitty," a trailblazing song became the mainstay of Dr. Demento. The song and inspiration for this list coming in at number one the late great Freddie Blassie's "Pencil Neck Geek." There are insults in this song that would make Don Rickles cower in fear. A one man losing streak? Brilliant. I'm proud to say I own two 45's of this masterpiece. ( This is why my right hand curls in a fist position permantly and my wrestling posters of Golga, Bastion Booger, The Booty Man and One Man Gang are covered in a white frothy stain ) Even more ridiculous is that I could recite the entire song, but have problems remembering my own mother's birthday. Now that is absurd.
Blassie was way ahead of his time, and was one of wrestling's great personalities. He will be missed.
Now, I'm sure my top five list will elicit debate the world over. Should I be taken for task for not including Ricky Morton's "Boogie Woogie Dancehall?" ( Hell Yeah Holmes, look the cuz don't like getting passed over, the man's got a voice as silky as women's panty hose and as subtle as your queefs of passion, but he was left off the list, i'll expect a hand written apology from you, so I can comfort his outrage...... gotta luv the cuz.... ) Did I do Jesse Ventura a disservice leaving out "The Body Rules?" Was I out of line for driving right past Badstreet, USA? Your comments are welcome at tnaborash@aol.com.
D'Lo Brown has been on fire lately, and has put forth an inspiring effort. Brown told me he has done more in the last ten weeks than he was ever allowed to ever do in WWE. His frogsplash to the floor from the top rope was a great example how D'Lo is ready to take it to a new level. While the spot was very dangerous, I have to applaud him for his effort and dedication to show everyone he means business.
Vampire Warrior completely clobbered Sonny Siaki with a frying pan at the very beginning of the HARD 10 match from last week. Siaki was lucky he wasn't killed. Go back and watch the tape if you missed it. Ouch. Good to see David Heath again, though. One of the nicest guys in the business. My dream reality show would be to take the cameras into the David Heath/Luna Vachon household. They would make the Osbournes look like the Waltons. My other dream wrestling show would be to develop a sitcom around the life and times of the Big Bossman, and we call the show "Everybody Loves Raymond Trailor." That's money. ( My dream reality show is called 1,001 deaths of Jeremy Borash..... We take a studio audience, pick a couple of winners, spin a giant wheel and whatever horrible death the wheel lands on, the fan has the opportunity to do that or make out with various playboy playmates.... in early test studies, most were likely to choose your death over making out with playmates.... )
Jeff Jarrett and Glenn Gilberti had a very solid main event, as have come to be the norm with the NWA World Title Matches. While Jarrett certainly has his fans and his detractors, the bottom line is that Jarrett always delivers a solid match in TNA. The dynamics of this 3-way dance will make for a great main event.
www.The-New-Church.com is now open on the internet, and features some great artwork.
Tracy and David Young will face AMW in the finals of the Asylum Alliance Tournament. Winners will go on to face Triple X on the TNA Anniversary Show a week from this Wednesday. ( Gee I wonder who will win........ )
Speaking of which, orders have come in from 25+ different states, and fans from Japan are even making the trip to the Asylum for the TNA One Year Anniversary Show. ( Funny thing with these Japaneese people, there so easily fooled, I told them it was TNA for Total Nintendo Action, where there was a tournament for Nintendo Players across the world... they bought tickets, call me the Master of Deception, if you will ) If you are thinking of flying in for the event, Borash's travel tip #1 is ( to use the very inexpensive Southwest Airlines to fly to Nashville, and get your tickets ASAP for this event on PayPal. Gold Circle Ringside seats are already sold out, but there are still seats available to reserve. It will be a great night.
The TNA One Year Anniversary Show will also feature a post show party and autograph session, where fans will have the opportunity to have all the autographs and photo ops they want with all of the talent. The party is free of charge with a paid admission to the event. ( I wish TNA would throw a carnival type party for the aftershow, you know have the Heels in a dunking booth, Have an outdrink Scott Hall booth, OutEat B.G. James Booth, ' Is that a retard singing of Goldilocks Screaming ' booth, where you get to choose between the two options with the winner getting a signed Goldilocks CD, A Booth set up where you look through glasses and see how long you can stare at Robert Gibson and Chicken Hat in the face withought turning away.... I like to call it the Lazy Eye Stare-a-thon.... Try to convince people you're the best champion in the world seminar, with your host Jeff Jarrett.... Here stunning ways to convince people like ' My Daddy said I was good, therefore I be champion '.... ' Hell I own the company, why the hell not ' and the classic ' TNA is not run by Nepotism, I can't help it that my wrestling skills are better than Christopher Daniels, now someone hand me my coolness, I've seemed to lost it )
I have a Nextel phone, which I often dream of throwing out the window because it drops out so much. ( Funny I have that same dream but instead of a phone it's replaced by a marmie ring announcer ) The other issue I have is that it constantly calls people accidentally. ( Actually I'm ashamed to admit, that the accidental phone calls out rank my placed phone calls ) This week alone, I have called Alan Funk three different times and left him five minute plus messages on his machine. One message included me cutting a promo on my laptop computer after it crashed on me. I have tried to remember to lock up the keypad, but I often forget. Luckily, my tales of inadvertent dialing do not compare to the kept-secret-until-now-by-a-few-people-but-now-the-story-must-be-told tale of Chad Damiani, my former broadcast colleague in WCW
Chad had been actively chasing a lovely female talent who will remain nameless but has gone on to be a WWE Diva. The stage was set for Damiani and said Diva to go out on their first date, after months of courting by Damiani. He even went as far as to get flowers for the occasion. Damiani, who is a nice guy but definitely has a different side he made sure she never knew about in his attempts to win this female's heart, had played the situation perfectly. She saw him as a real sweetheart, and seemed to finally start showing signs of interest. He was nervous, yet very excited. With the date just hours away, Damiani, your's truly, and a few WCW staff were hanging around the office in Atlanta that Saturday afternoon when things suddenly made a turn for the worse.
We were all engaged in a deep conversation at the office regarding a topic so unspeakable, that I'm not going to disclose it. Let's just say it involved a roundtable survey on which female seemed most likely to perform the most intimate of intimate acts. The conversation actually included comments from Damiani about his perspective date later that evening, all that it could possibly entail, and even a bold prediction on how she faired in the earlier described discussion.
As it turns out, the entire conversation was inadvertently left on this girl's voicemail when Damiani's phone hit redial after he made final arrangements to pick her up. She was stunned, to the point of tears. The date was called off, and Damiani's chances with this female were no more.( Weird thing was she wasn't so much upset that he said those things, it was the fact he hung out with a massive Tool such as myself that bothered her, she had a rep. to uphold ) I still take great pleasure in emailing him photos of her to perpetuate his torture. ( And he still sends me pictures of Boner from ' Growing Pains ' Seems I blew it with him )
Make sure and check out the WWA PPV Sunday night, as Jeff Jarrett defends against Sting. The Four Way Cruiserweight match that will air between Swinger / Sabin / Lynn / Kazarian easily wins early match of the year candidate status. It is incredible. Overall, WWA "The Reckoning" is easily the best PPV the WWA has done to date.
That is all From the Inside, hope you have a great weekend and we will see you back on PPV this Wednesday night for Jarrett/Raven/Styles!
Jeremy Borash
TNABorash@aol.com
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Bro's 'Real' From the Inside 6/2/03
It was the late great John Denver once wrote, "Hey, its good to be back home again," and after a week of Total Nonstop Travel, I now see what he meant. ( Yeah I totally got confused by what ' it's good to be back home again ' meant, for all these years I thought he was talking about playing Parchessi, thanks, Borash the Genius ) Then again, he also thought it was a good idea to fly experimental airplanes over the ocean, and look where that got him. ( More popular in death, than you'll ever be alive??? )
Interesting to see the surprise return of Vince Russo, just seven days before Glenn Gilberti faces Jeff Jarrett in the biggest match of Gilberti's life. What impact will Russo have on this world title match? Tune in this Wednesday as Jarrett defends the NWA World Title.
Here is a bit of hot news ( I like to floss Dog's teeth with my 4 inch n*pple Hair )
This past Wednesday night saw the mutual split of the incredible tag team of D'Lo Brown and AJ Styles, citing that while they were fantastic together, both men's hearts were in the hunt for the NWA World Title. The NWA has listened to them, and has made a decision. This week, AJ Styles will face D'Lo Brown, with the winner to become the new number one contender for the NWA World Title. Where does this leave Raven? Tune in this Wednesday night to find out!
A very weird week in the life of Jeremy Borash, ( as if we expected anything but weird from you ) and my apologies for not putting up a column last week. I had one written on the plane, but then realized that I was being served free drinks and had and was in the midst of an 18 hour flight. ( That's a good excuse but here's what he meant ' I'm sorry for not putting out a ' From the Inside ' last week, I knew The Bro was gonna totally rip it apart and I ran out of fresh teets for milk to squeeze out of, and whenever he rips my report, I like to curl up in a ball, with my Mork and Mindy jammies on, rub hot wax all over my body, let it congeal, then take the lifesize wax figure and makeout with myself, cause I'm totally Boss ) It probably wasn't going to be my best piece of literature, so this week, I'll make it up to you with two, two, two columns for the price of one. ( The price : Your Intelligence ) Yes, welcome to Jeremy Borash's From the Inside, with 110% more content than ever before. ( Most women after having sexual relations with someone after The Rash...... report saying the same thing....... ' You gave me 110 % more content than before ' )
I mentioned it was a weird week get this ( A chick actually looked in my general direction )
Two of the three of the Borash brotherhood wanted to be in the entertainment business at a very young age, and we have both been able to fulfill our aspirations, ( Me, being a towel boy in Gay Porn ) both coincidentally in Nashville, TN. My brother has played with some of the top names in the music business and is considered one of Nashville's better studio players. He's on the road constantly. I lead a pretty paralleled life in a different business with an astonishing amount of similarities.( Except he's cool ) My middle brother went the complete opposite way, getting married, having kids, and raising them in the mountains of West Yellowstone, Montana. He is afraid of the big city life and he'd much rather be hanging out shooting buffalo with Ted Nugent. So, how did the granola eater of the bunch end up as a guest getting interviewed by Matt Lauer and Katie Couric Wednesday on the Today Show? ( They wanted to know the secret : How in the Hell did you ever survive living with the world's largest Dingleberry Douche-Bag ? )
My mountain man brother is also an adrenaline junky, and spends time extreme snowmobiling and on emergency rescues in the mountains. Last weekend, he was in British Columbia with some friends, and was one of the men trapped in an avalanche that stretched a mile wide. He saw the avalanche begin at the top of the mountain, and had no where to go, so he ran towards the biggest tree he could find, a move that would end up saving his life. He wrapped his arms around the tree as the giant avalanche struck, and was carried hundreds and hundreds of yards down the mountain. He was buried, and was sure he was going to die. The Today Show aired pictures of what was left of his snowmobile, and it was bent in two. Amazingly no one died in the incident, as he was thankfully wearing a beeper and was able to be dug out after several hours buried and nearly frozen. He was hospitalized, but is now up and walking around fine.
Since then, he has turned into a bit of a media star, appearing on media all over the world. CNN, NBC, MSNBC, and countless amounts of radio and newspaper interviews. He told me on the phone that he finally had his fifteen minutes of fame, but it nearly took death to get it. ( I later shattered my phone in a million pieces out of jealousy )
Unfortunately, it often takes something like that to appreciate life. I really don't know whether I should be sad he went through this experience, or happy he lived to tell about it. Either way, Craig, congratulations, you beat your brothers to the Today Show. ( And unless they ever do a special on pre-pubescent teenage girls who dress up as ring announcers and wear no socks, then I'll never be )
Trying to not move my Raven effected head very much, the NWA World Champion Jeff Jarrett and I boarded a plane early Thursday after last week's TNA show, bound for New Zealand. I've done the trip now six times in the last two years, so I'm pretty used to the endurance that is Qantas Flight 145 from LA. ( And in other news, I took 6,251 breaths so far today... POINT : Who gives a flying sh*t )
After doing media upon arrival in New Zealand, we were able to do our only bit of sightseeing on the tour. ( Actually the only interview I got offered to do was for ' Sick Boy Weekly ' A digest and centerfold of sickly looking males ) Auckland is beautiful, and was a lot of fun. We met a giant Samoan bouncer that said he was related to Meng, making him officially the third Polynesian person I've met out in public that has told me that.
Sunday, it was off to the arena, and time to get ready for the PPV. If you buy TNA PPVs, you will love this one from the WWA, easily the best effort from the group. The Four Way match between Chris Sabin, Jerry Lynn, Johnny Swinger, and Frankie Kazarian gets my vote for the WWA's first four to five star match, as it was as flawless as anything I've ever seen. There wasn't a weak match on the show. ( Except for that monotone announcer guy matched up with a microphone )
Congratulations to Jeff Jarrett, who defeated Sting on the show, and unified the WWA and NWA World Titles. ( Sting was screwed )
I was a bit sore after taking Raven's Evenflow DDT. Actually, I was very sore. ( And in a side note, my right arm was sore after a marathon of Magnum P.I. on cable..... I'm weak for Mustache and Tight Jeans ) I know I may look tough and carry myself like a real ass kicker that takes no sh*t, but that one caught me a bit off guard. ( I heard the same thing happened when you were born.... They were caught a bit off guard, because they were sure the Dr. said they were having a boy ) I had some back pain and the top of my head was sore. ( ' the top of my head was sore ' The last time those words will ever be uttered out of his mouth ) I'll be the first to admit I don't know what the hell I am doing in there,( I seriously doubt you'd be the first ) but at the risk of personal injury, it is much more important to me that it looked good. I have no idea how wrestlers do it, and have come to the conclusion that my decision to make a living in the wrestling business off my mind and not my body was a smart move. As much as I have been around the wrestling business for the last several years, I still readily admit to having no idea what it is actually like to have to do that for a living, and understand the veterans who complain about non-workers in the business who have never taken a bump and "don't know what it is like to be in our shoes." The pain endured alone is insane.
A reporter that will go unnamed took me to task, accusing me of fabricating a story about skydiving with Scott Baio. Imagine that, being taken to task by a dirtsheet writer for a false story, now that's funny. And besides, who on God's green earth would make up a story about hanging out with Scott Baio? If I was going to name drop, you'd think I would have come up with something better than that, like water skiing with Fabio. Don't get me wrong, we all loved him as Chachi, ( The single best descriptive name for Baio ) and his performance on Charles in Charge was groundbreaking, but please, give me more credit than that.
Konnan attended former Tic-Tac-Dough host Wink Martindale's 65th birthday party in San Diego last weekend. Martindale and Konnan are neighbors and have been friends for a while. Strangely enough, Konnan's dad's real name is also Wink.
There is heat between TNA girls Lollypop and Tyson, after Tyson allegedly had a lollypop in her mouth minutes before show time several weeks ago. While is may be considered gimmick infringement by many, Tyson claimed to simply have had bad breath and was looking to alleviate the problem. All will most likely be worked out between the two. I love legit heat between chicks. ( You should see what happens when I borrow Bert Prentice's Panty Hose withought asking! ) I really do.
TNA Xplosion will debut next week in Philly. Check out www.nwatna.com for more information.
It was nice to be back behind the microphone last weekend doing play-by-play with #1 contender Glenn Gilberti for the WWA show. It was also nice to catch up with David Penzer, and always had fun with him on the road. ( I remember Preperation H, Cheap Wine, Squirrels and a tube )
Aside from everything else the NZ trip was especially fun for the simple fact that it united Borash's "elite six" of post show hangout friends. Such notables as Sabu, Konnan, Puppet the Psycho Dwarf, Meatball, Teo, and Glenn Gilberti. Anytime you can hit the town with Gilberti and Konnan, a legitimately psychotic individual like Sabu, and three midgets who can drink everyone under the table, you have the makings of a good weekend. All hail Meatball which reminds me of the story of my 27th birthday. ( See last year at my birthday party, my mother made me spaghetti with meatballs, I had to leave the table for a moment and when I returned there was the biggest Meatball I had ever seen in my life in the middle of the spaghetti, The first bite was something scrumptious, I was in heaven and less then 2 minutes later the meatball had dissapeared from my plate..... My brothers started giggling and I asked what the deal was, My Mother started to tell me how when I had excused myself My brother had placed a large pile of Dog Scat on my plate and formed it into a meatball....... It was so tasty, I couldn't believe it... My Brother's to this day call me ScatMonger )
At the time, I was co-habitating with a certain female in Nashville who wasn't exactly a huge wrestling fan, but tolerated it nonetheless. It was a Wednesday night and a bunch of us decided to celebrate another passing of a year for ol' JB. Yes, it was my 27th birthday, and it was one of those nights where you knew something was going to get out of hand. Some of my closest friends including such luminaries as Don West, Slash, AJ Styles, Chris Daniels, and yes, and possibly most importantly the midget trifecta (Puppet, Teo, and Meatball) gathered at our favorite post show pub, Marathon's in Nashville. I knew the party had reached a boiling point when Puppet the Psycho Dwarf was running around the bar giving piggyback rides to Slash from the New Church, something that had to be seen to be believed. Sure enough, all good incidents of Sha-na-na-nanigans have to come to an end, so AJ Styles and Chris Daniels, the lone legit role models of the group, drove us all back to my house. The highspot of the evening was when my co-habitor came home, only to find three passed out drunk midgets lying on the floor, much to her absolute shock and disgust. At that point, for the first time in my career, I knew the wrestling business was my calling in life. ( Plus it didn't help that a condom was placed on my lips with the words ' Midget Makeout Master ' on it )
An item I forgot to mention from last week congratulations go out to Konnan and Mike Sanders, who both made wrestling history for uttering the words "rusty trombone" on two separate occasions on our PPV two weeks ago. These references to bizarre acts once again spawned discussion on whether or not we need to bring in a luchadore by the name of Dirty Sanchez, a latino wrestler with a fetish for unspeakable acts. More on this story as it develops.
The TNA anniversary show is shaping up to be a special night, with the gold circle $45 dollar ringside seats now completely sold out. Get on board if you plan on making the trip, as this one will sell out soon. Go to www.NWATNA.com for more details. The main event should be announced soon.
Speaking of sold out, more AJ Styles shirts are being made to satisfy the incredible demand. ( Maybe I'd buy one if they were, ummm cool, but a giant floating Head doesn't somehow translate into cool, and don't get me started on the Jeff Jarrett shirt like he's posing for the cover of ' Young Tarts in Spandex Monthly ' ) Right now, the top selling shirt is the Total Nonstop America shirt, featuring the TNA logo in red, white, and blue colors. ( In best Redneck Voice " I Luhv AhMehricah ' ) The new S.E.X. shirt and the new Raven shirt are both selling very well as well. All TNA shirts are available for ordering on www.nwatna.com
In the wake of the tremendous Jarrett/Raven show a few weeks back, I find it interesting how nearly every I talked to,( Borash Speak ) especially my friends up north in WWE land, went out of their way to see that show. To me, it was a good show, but barely made my top five list. Taking nothing away from that show in particular, TNA's goal is not to build to one big show, but to make sure every week is special, and I think they are. We are actively working to make sure that is the case, realizing some shows build to a bigger matchup than others, no one show we do has any less effort than any other, and we are working to make sure it comes across that way to the fans. We are not in the business of building to one "big show" versus another. As Jeff Jarrett often says, we are the pre-season, the regular season, the playoffs, and the World Series all rolled into one. To us, every week is special, and every week we strive to give you your money's worth. ( Thanks..... FART!!!!! )
Low Ki will likely be out for two months with a dislocated collar bone. Very painful indeed. Thankfully, this injury did not effect his James Earl Jones-ish voice. ( Cue : laugh in the Can )
Paul London was taken to the hospital following two weeks ago after the show in need of some stitches. Keep your eye on Paul London, X-Division Champion Chris Sabin, and keep a very close eye on Triple X, all of whom could be in line for a major singles push very soon. ( I keep on falling for this line all the time )
Had a chance to spend some time with my good friend Bret Hart over the weekend in New Zealand. I hadn't seen him since his stroke, and he has had an amazing recovery. Bret's speech during the WWA show was a very emotional moment, and was very difficult for him on a number of levels. If you are a Hitman fan, you don't want to miss it. A great evening for me, and there have been many over the course of all the WWA tours, is hanging out with the Hitman after a show and just listen to him tell stories. ( Then I remember to put his bags in the taxi and drive him to the airport ) I could do it for hours. He still brings out the fan in me. I consider myself lucky to know him and even luckier to call him a good friend.
Just like the performers in the ring, announcers follow each other very closely, and listen to commentary with a very different, attentive ear. When it comes to wrestling play-by-play, Tenay is this generation's Gordon Solie, and I think if he were alive today, I think the Dean would consider that a tremendous compliment. ( And I've been referred to as today's Todd Pettingill )
TNA staffer and all around handsome lad Mortimer Plumtree is leaving the TNA family to tend to his own family back in my birthplace of Minneapolis. ( Also known as Hell ) Morty and I have known each other since the legendary Wrestling Radio days (yes, they were legendary, and I will put that show up against anything I have ever heard in the wrestling business, including WCW Live!) and I consider him to be one of my best friends in this business. ( Too bad he doesn't think the same about you ) We will miss him, his incredible work ethic, and his amazing sense of humor. Good luck, pal you are doing the right thing in your decision, and will always be welcomed back.
We'll miss ya Morty!
Jeremy Borash
TNABorash@aol.com |
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Bro's ' Real ' From the Inside 5/19/03
Greetings and hello once again. The young and semi-exciting Jeremy Borash back here again with another overdose of all the news that is fit to print from TNA world. ( In unfit news sometime backstage before I go out to greet my adoring fans I like to munch on scat to calm my nerves..... )
Great in ring action put forth this past week on nearly all outings for NWA TNA. We've set the standards very high on ourselves, and the fans make sure we're held to those expectations. Overall, the show accomplished what it set out to do, and in my opinion, is still heads and shoulders above anything else being put out there in there in the world of wrestling today, brutha.
There is always a post show pow-wow ( And I mean literally a Pow-Wow... Seems Jerry has some Navajho in his blood and usually after the show goes off the air, we all huddle in an authentic Navajho TeePee puff on the ol' Peace Pipe, if you know what I mean, and wear authentic Headdresses for our respective Indian names such as ' Tool Walking with No Socks ' ME..... ' Frollicking Frollet with Nepotism ' Jeff Jarrett and ' Cheif No Clue ' Jerry Jarrett ) in our booking office with a few of us immediately after the show goes off the air and we go back through the curtain. It is very seldom a happy feelgood meeting. We tend to be very critical on ourselves. In fact, I don't remember a meeting that was all smiles. I wouldn't want it that way... because there is always next week looming ahead, and always room for improvement. Our need for perfection is what motivates us to improve. I guess we just want success so bad that anything but a perfect show leaves us dissatisfied.
Glenn Gilberti (the final and official spelling of his name) made a big impact on things this past Wednesday night, solidifying his spot as the #1 contender for the NWA World Title. As was clear in Jeff Jarrett's interview, there is a real behind the scenes story to this upcoming title match, with implications that will run deep. Implementing the real side of the political underbelly of TNA into a storyline is an approach that has worked before for TNA, and fans will get a dose of that when Glenn Gilberti's interview will air this Wednesday. We taped it today in the TNA offices, and I'm not sure what will actually make the cut and what will not. Gilberti's comments will certainly have people talking about this interview.
A debate spawned from the question of who exactly is the best member of Triple X. The discussion revolved around the many various positives, and very few negatives. I'd compare it to the same type of debate car enthusiasts have about Ford vs. Chevy.( Or the debate I have with myself every-morning... Socks or No Socks...... I like the comfort, the safe feeling of security that socks allow me, on the other hand I wanna show people that I'm a party person and my toes are an extension of me, my feet don't need to be held under by THE MAN ' socks ' and me and my body parts don't have to listen to any rules, that and I like the ' Head Cheese ' smell after slipping off my Wal-Mart Penny Loafers and the sweat mixed with the imitation leather make for a sultry smell that gets any 13 year old ring rat in her second trimester in the mood ) I guess for the few of us involved in such dinner table conversation, getting a life should be our first order of business. ( Either that or finding the closest labotomy Clinic )
Vince Russo took his daughter to the Avril Lavigne concert last week in Atlanta. Vince is such a good father to his daughter that he had to go to the bathroom during the warm-up act, but couldn't leave her alone, so he was forced to hold it during the entire concert. At the conclusion, by the time he made it to the restroom, it was said to resemble the finish of the movie Strange Brew.
TNA Anniversary Show tickets are selling fast and are expected to sellout pretty quickly. ( In other news Borash tells us that Storks actually deliver babies, Santa Claus is real and that ladies really dig him ) This is definitely a show you should fly in for if you have never experienced TNA live. It takes place June 18th. You can order tickets now on Pay Pal. Go to www.nwatna.com for more information.
Jeff Jarrett appeared this morning on the John Boy and Billy Show. Jarrett is in Charlotte doing TNA promotional work and participated last night in a charity basketball game. ( Man , with all these tornadoes around, I question why one didn't hit the studio with those three in it, All three together form the Trinity of Sh*t........ If I had actually turned the radio to that station, I'm sure my head would have exploded from the mindless neandertharlic speech of John Boy, The Un-Funny jokes and comebacks made by Billy and the Ever so Bull-Sh*t spewing Jeff Jarrett... Scanners!!!!! ARGGHHH )
Here is the line up for the WWA Reckoning PPV next weekend in New Zealand:
Puppet vs. TEO vs. Meatball (Three way midget hardcore match)
Midejah vs. Erica
Shane Douglas vs. Sabu
Chris Sabin vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Frankie Kazarian vs. Johnny Swinger
Rick Steiner vs. Joe E. Legend
Devon Storm vs. Konnan (Hardcore)
Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting (WWA vs. NWA Title Unification Bout)
( Jesus New Zealanders must have really pissed off the Wrestling God's for that....... I told you once before, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say Jarrett wins that match against Sting... I know, you're sitting there going ' Bro, are you crazy??? How could you speak such hogwash '.... Well it's just a feeling I get, I feel that a quality win against a huge name is in Jarrett's future.... I mean Sting is good, don't get me wrong and everyone is thinking Sting's gonna win, but I got a feeling Jarrett's gonna take this one and make me a butt-load of Moolah, You gotta take chances in life and this is one of those chances.... It's not the popular choice, but I just see the underdog ( Jarrett ) getting the win...... NOTE...... THIS WAS DRIPPING WITH SARCASM )
Glenn Gilbertti and yours truly will be the announce team for the event in New Zealand. ( What they forgot to tell Borash and Gilberti is that over 95 percent of New Zealand is Deaf..... Hence the dream announce team...... Truly that's a fact Jack! )
Ed Ferrara was backstage Wednesday night. Ferrara stopped in to say goodbye, as he and his lovely wife are moving to Chicago. We wish him the best of luck. ( Funny thing, He left after the show and his dreadlocks are still here....... along with little droppings )
Tracy is doing a great job and is a great actress, above and beyond what she can do in ring. ( RIGHT BORASH..... Above and Beyond..... Making Fist motion slowly pumping forward )
Congratulations to Chris Sabin on capturing the X-Division title Wednesday night. It was a big night for Sabin, not only capturing the belt, but joining S.E.X. as well.
Bob Ryder has found himself addicted to the show 24, going as far as turning off his cell phone and computer (for the first time in 3 years) and watching the entire first season on DVD last Sunday. ( I'm addicted to the ' Queer as Folk ' Box Set... Go figure )
Thanks to everyone who sent along their suggestions for Micheal Buffer-esque catch phrases. Send your ideas to tnaborash@aol.com.
Goldylocks and Trinity had a hot hot hot video shoot on the beach in Santa Monica last weekend. I don't want to give details, but G-Strings were involved. Vavooom. ( Vavoom, was last uttered by Mel off ' Mel's Diner ' to describe Flo's new makeup job...... See where his career is now.... NEVER,EVER use the word Vavoom! )
Tom Wopat (aka Bo Duke) is apparently a big TNA fan. He ran into Konnan at a boat show in San Diego and marked out. ( Seems Wopat was just admiring Konnan's Flannel Shirt, didn't really have a clue who he was )
The interview with Jeff Jarrett was shot at his house this past Tuesday night. ( And in other news Borash tells us The Pythagorean Theory, The Molecular Compound of Iron and Newton's Law of Relativity... Join us Next time on ' Tales of You Just Don't Give a Sh*t ' Hosted by Jeremy Borash )
I mentioned it two weeks ago, and it is worth mentioning again. TNA will commit to those who commit to the company, on all levels, and that is the way it should be. Oh, what I would love to write about on this topic, but I'll save it for another day.
Paul London will return to TNA this Wednesday night.
TNA Xplosion is getting picked up by more and more stations every week. Xplosion airs in New York City, Atlanta, Pittsburgh, Dallas, and many more markets. ( So more people can flip past the channel when they see me thinking it's the UPN Made for TV sequal to C.H.U.D. ) Xplosion will debut in Denver next month, and clearance in Orlando will be coming soon as well. Go to www.nwatna.com for a complete time and station list.
That is all for this week, we will see you Wednesday night back on Pay Per View.
Jeremy Borash
TNABorash@aol.com
Bro's ' Real ' From the Inside 5/12/03
Greetings from the Music City, where the storms have come and gone like the ratings for the Anna Nicole Smith show.( Or like my moderate Sex Appeal to the Female Dog Population.... Damn Heart Worms be cramping my style ) After living in Minnesota, I thought I had seen the worst weather, but I've never seen thunderstorms like we've had here in the last week. I'm a huge weather geek, and even went chasing tornadoes when I lived in Iowa once with a group of meteorologists. ( Again God, Why not take advantage of the opportunities, to Help all mankind out, I'll never understand )Now those guys know how to party. It was like the movie Twister meets Revenge of the Nerds without the flying cows and guys named Booger. ( What he meant to say : ' Now these guys know how to party.... We played ' Twister ' dressed up as Famous Food Spokespersons, I was the Quaker Oats Man, Something about floppy curly wigs...... We also watched a never-ending chain of Revenge of the Nerd's movies, after that we wrote a handbook called ' 101 things to eat off yourself for Survival if stuck on a deserted Island, Starting with Dead skin and ending with Dandruff Flakes ' Man Good Times, Fella, Good times )
Glen Gilbertti, the leader of Sports Entertainment Xtreme, came out on top as the new #1 contender for the NWA World Title Wednesday night. ( And I officially got laid, by something other than toilet paper rolls, oversize straws, and Vaccum Cleaner Attachments... Yes Hell has frozen over ) Gilbertti's character has been an amazing transformation, and immediately gets my vote for "Most Improved Wrestler of the Year" so far in TNA. ( Sanders has to be right up there ) Gilbertti is one of wrestling's great characters in the locker room, and it is nice to see him have so much success with his new persona.
To really appreciate how insane New Jack is, you've got to see the replay of this last week's TNA. The camera angle that captured his balcony jump off the scissor lift from the highest possible point in the TNA Asylum really put things into perspective. The man is absolutely out of his mind. No, really... he is out of his mind. I'm not just saying that. ( Well I don't see you dancing, Fist Pumping it Main, doing the Can-Can, Picking your nose, singing ' I will always love you ' to Jarrett, so you must only be saying that, Technically.... Well actually you're not just saying it, you're writing it..... )
AJ Styles' bruised knee is still giving him a little trouble, but he wrestled at 100% on Wednesday night.
Raven( W ) is still without( O ) a contract as of today( R ) with TNA. Both( K ) parties agreed on a one night deal that was reached prior to showtime of the event.
Konnan asked me to go skydiving with him and Scott Baio next month when I visit California. I've skydived two times, but am probably going to pass on this invitation to make it three. ( Man I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that God has defintely dropped the ball in all these near death experiences for Borash..... Either God has enough people in Heaven that smell of Petting Zoo Food and Hair Gel or He desperatly doesn't want him there ) Although it may be the biggest rush one can experience, I don't need to tempt death again by jumping out of a perfectly good airplane, let alone do it with friggin' Chachi. ( I have to ask this question..... Who is Jeremy Borash to put down Chachi??? I mean let's face it Scott Baio has probably scored more @ss in a month than Borash has scored Hookers with Stubble and skinned knees in his lifetime...... I must wonder if Scott Baio is sitting at home going ' D@mnit..... I gotta go jumping with that small, little dude who smells of Petting Zoo Food and Formaldehyde..... What's his name Ball-Rash, Butt-Rash... Something like that... And he always stares at me while stroking his Teddy Ruxpin Eye-less Teddy Bear Seductively... He's Weird!!!!! ' )
Be sure and read Vince Russo's article on www.1wrestling.com. Vince spoke from the heart, and I'm glad he said what he did. His dedication to his friends and family is something I've always admired about him. He genuinely cares for the people in his life, often a rare quality in this business.
Former XPW'ers VJ Love and Devilish Lee Handsome (Perhaps the greatest wrestling name invented since Bill Ding, the evil architect) have moved to Nashville, to be closer to the action here in TNA. The good thing about Nashville is if you are a worker, there are shows all over the place. Not a lot of money, but a lot of work within a few hours in any direction.
Don West and Mike Tenay expressed on more than one occasion Wednesday night that an authority figure was needed in TNA. Let the speculation continue... ( I'm still lobbying for Ralphus........ He's a man with Dignity,Class and a Tooth )
NASCAR's Elliott Sadler will be hosting the "Hoops for Hope" charity basketball game in Charlotte on May 31st to help raise money for the Autism Society of America. Jeff Jarrett will be playing in the game, as well as Ric Flair. Jarrett was an Academic All-American in the college hoops world, so I'm looking forward to seeing what the NWA World Champion can do on the court. ( Early word has it that Jarrett is gonna make the Autsim patients do the job for him and hand over the money after the game...... I wonder if Jarrett will no-sell the charges and fouls??? And if he gets called for walking in the game he can just blame his Hair... Everyone knows you can't hold back Sassy Hair, it has a mind of it's own...... If Jarrett and Flair are on the same team they should called themselves the Platinum Pompador Pirates... )
More praise for Christopher Daniels, Jerry Lynn, and Red for their amazing match from this past week. Props out to Elix Skipper, Low Ki, D'Lo and AJ Styles for their strong opener as well. These guys will all be busy this week, as Triple X will defend their NWA World Tag Team Titles and Amazing Red will defend the X-Division Title this week as well.
Some concern was expressed by TNA officials for Rick Steiner's suplexes during the Gauntlet for the Gold. Word has it he had lots of care for the throw, but little care for the landing, if you know what I mean. ( Yeah I do I'll use Borash-ism for the unitiated..... It's like Bert having lots of care for the thrusting and movement but little care for Lubrication...... )
Someone emailed me asking why I don't have a Micheal Buffer-esqe catchphrase to say before the main events. After polling TNA wrestlers and rejecting the popular "Who's ready for violence, blood, and boobies?" and "It's main event time in my pants," a suitable phrase has yet to be found. Suggestions? Email me at TNABorash@aol.com. Winner will receive a recording contract and a million dollars. Oh wait, wrong contest. ( How about ' Are you ready for some TNA... ' Total Non-Stop Asbestos ' for the foamy stuff that covers the ceiling, that's always been a mystery to me..... Total Nonstop Assualt would be a good line, or for Borash only ' Total Non-Stop @sshole '...... )
Anyone else watching American Idol? 60% of TNA wrestlers polled believe the "femmy Barry Manilow kid" is going to win, ( I had no idea Borash was on American Idol, someone clue me in ) while 40 % believe that the "fat Luther Vandross dude" is going to take it.
D-Lo Brown has opened his new website at www.d-lobrown.com
Justin Credible's leg was in rough shape following the show Wednesday night, but he didn't seem to think it was anything serious. ( He may need to get it checked for any weird Diseases since Brian Lawler was nibbling on it during the match )The more I am around him, the more I like him. ( When the Moon hits your eye like a big Pork Rind, That's Amore' ) He's a real class act and has a great attitude in TNA.
TNA Xplosion is now airing in Louisville, KY on WYCS-tv24 on Wednesday nights at 10pm. Denver will be receiving Xplosion soon as well. More details on that next week.
After all the hype and speculation, the long awaited dance off finally took place between D'Lo Brown and yours truly Wednesday night at Hurricane's Nightclub in Nashville after the show. Brown forfeited the competition after I closed my 30 second set with my infamous "leg liftover" maneuver, made famous by Kid'n Play. While the first 28 seconds of my performance admittedly sucked, my finisher left D'Lo stunned, with him throwing up his arms in defeat as if to say, "That may have been the greatest dance move ever performed, Mr. Astaire," to the many onlookers. ( Or he could have been like ' He brought shame and un-coolness upon everything white and male, I'll just let him win for his dignity's sake and because I have two cracked ribs from not being able to control my laughter after he lifted his leg above his head and a condom fell out.... Not too mention he was wearing Lingerie and was dancing to ' It's Raining Men ' with a leather Taxi Driver's Hat on ..... Tooo Much 'Not since Breakin' 2: Electric Bugaloo has such a move even been attempted in public. However, I did not come away from my victory unscathed as I twisted my angle ( Speaking of Twisted Angles..... oh nevermind.... He meant Ankle..... ) while performing the difficult maneuver, but no sold it until I made my exit to the restroom. ( Jarrett has taught him well.... )
That is all for this week! We will see you back on PPV this Wednesday night! Have a good weekend.
Jeremy Borash
TNABorash@aol.com
Bro's 'Real ' From the Inside 5/5/03
Greetings and happy Friday to you and yours. Lots of news and juicy gossip this week so let's get to it.
I don't really know where to start with this last Wednesday's program, other than the fact that it was our most successful effort to date, and very symbolic of what is to come for us in the future. ( So Screwjob endings that only make sense in some drug enduced stupor are signs of things to come??? Where Do I Sign Up??? Sabu helping Jarrett??? I'm still trying to pick the peanuts out of that Turd to make some symolism of sense! )
While the program was universally praised from even the harshest of critics ( Note to Self : Make sure checks cleared ASAP !!! ), and it was one of my top five favorite programs to date for our company, the reality of the situation is that what we witnessed Wednesday night was something much bigger than another chapter in the weekly series of solid programs we deliver. Let me explain
For many of us that have been involved with TNA since we opened our offices, the last 14 months have been the hardest, most taxing months of our lives. The roller coaster ride of personal sacrifice it has taken to get TNA off the ground is nothing short of remarkable.( And let's face it gang, I know about sacrifice.... Do you understand how hard it was to give up my personal business of photographing Tansvestite Furry Grannies Dressed as June Cleaver for certain magazines that gained me a net worth of 5.89 ???? Do you, You Heartless B@st@rds!!!!! ) Several of us dropped everything we had ( Which for yours truly included only Squizz Stained Furniture Magazines, A Jar of Pickled Pigs Feet, A pair of Yak Hair Thongs with Don Knotts faced stitched in over my Lil' Rash, and a Super Tight Fuscia Colored Gremlin with no wheels and the words ' Super Cool ' highlighted on the side in Pink that doubled as my abode ) to move to Nashville and get behind a project that was perceived as "so out of the box" that it was destined to fail. ( Speaking of ' Out of the Box ' I'm....... Well nevermind gang.... ) I'll never forget the feeling I would get when certain net writers deemed our concept as a certain failure, while we logged in 80 hour work weeks to try and prove them wrong. Nearly everyone wrote us off as another one of the many startups promising big things and delivering nothing short of a complete disaster, then quietly disappearing into the sunset of bounced checks and empty promises. ( I bounced a check in church when I gave in the collection plate, Will I go to hell?? )
With time, TNA developed a following, largely through the word of mouth of fans who simply wanted something different. The program tried on many different creative coats, searching for the right formula, evolving on nearly a weekly basis.
While I have never doubted the renegade spirit of our promotion,( And I do love quoting that Loveable,Huggable, Human Barley Factory, Scott Hall ) I feel that for the first time on a large scale, the wrestling world stopped, looked, and recognized TNA not only as a promotion worthy of supporting, but a promotion to be taken seriously. Very seriously.
While our business plan is anything but traditional, fans in much larger numbers than ever before are accepting our unconventional approach. After all, for the cost of a traditional monthly wrestling PPV, you get four weekly two hour programs from TNA. The decision has become a no brainer for many wrestling fans.
For many of the wrestlers, announcers, and office people who have dedicated so much time and effort to this project since day one, our show Wednesday night was a milestone. A culmination of hard work and sacrifice, and one of many milestones we will work towards as we continue to grow. ( It was a Milestone because we had been sitting around the office since Januarary wondering how we could successfully ruin the Legacy that is Raven and I think the Mulletosed Marauder lived up to his name and the Hype...... Did you know The Sassy One sat in a Hairdresser's Chair for 3 Hours getting his Peter Brady - Platinum Colored Frollet Colored and Dyed???? That's Sacrifice and Determination to be the best......
While we couldn't have been happier with the overwhelming response to our show Wednesday night, TNA has always been a promotion that has never looked back. Our focus is on the future, and the demands and expectations we place on ourselves and our talent will only help raise the bar we continue to elevate. We never look back, because the next time we have to ask our fans to support a true wrestling alternative is never more than seven days away.
Tickets will be going on sale soon for the TNA One Year Anniversary Show set to take place on June 18th. Word has already gotten out about the event, and we are hearing about fans making plans to fly in from all over the country for this one. Even a contingent of UK fans are planning on making the trip. More on this event as it develops. ( Early Word is that this coming Week during the Number One Contender Match that the number 15 participant will be none other than Jarrett Himself, who will win, then defend the title against himself at the One Year Anniversary Show....... We're working on calling it ' The Battle of the Stroke ' and to make it as true to the name as possible, we're looking at Bret Hart to be a special referee...... We are gonna give this match an 8 hour time limit as the two competitor's in this match are likely to no-sell each other's move ( as in singular... move ) and no sell all the outside interference..... WOW!!!!!! What a battle...... )
Former TNN President Brian Hughes has been brought on board to assist with the television side of TNA. Adding Hughes to the TNA team is being looked at as a huge acquisition. He was backstage Wednesday night.
Hats off to Mike Tenay and Don West, who many are hailing as the best announce team in professional wrestling today. Don West has picked up this business faster than anyone I've ever seen, and I am so impressed with Tenay that I have openly told him I am going to steal some of his preparation techniques for my upcoming play-by-play for the WWA PPV. ( Those techniques include teasing the five hairs on your head, rubbing your body down with Vapo-Rub, killing a live Hedgehog and doing the robot while ' Sweat ' by C&C Music Factory is playing in the background with a tight 8 year old girl's girdle firmly tied around your waist )
Congratulations to Jeff Jarret and Raven for delivering, and even more so, living up to the incredible expectations put on them for such a hyped bout. So often in this business, you hear things hyped and hyped, to the point where many fans are conditioned to be disappointed. That was not the case here, as Jarrett/Raven will go down as one of the biggest ( Sh*tfests ) main event matches of the year. I remember asking TNA officials if I could declare this to be the "Biggest Match in TNA History" when making the video packages, and discussing the implications of making such a declaration. Making a claim like that puts everything on the line, and can either help build a trust with fans or send them down the long road of wrestling's empty promises. They delivered. Congratulations to both men. ( Wrong my friend, it didn't deliver, the match itself was fine, but like if you go to a five star restuarant and eat a terrible tasting Sh*t Pudding to cap it off, that whole experience is ruined.... Jarrett is my sh*t pudding )
TNA officials have let it be known that the magic word from here on out is commitment. The company will commit to those to do so in return on all levels, plain and simple. ( See : Killings, Ron )
Hats off to D'Lo Brown and AJ Styles who have become an absolutely incredible tag team. ( Tag Team back again, check in effects, now let's begin, party on party people let me hear some noise..... Sorry got carried away ) While their combined efforts have been simply amazing, don't expect these two to drop their singles career.
On the flipside, it looks as though Harris and Storm have resolved their differences and are back as a tag team. Thank God. If more people would have seen them in 2002, there is no doubt in my mind they would have swept any and all tag team of the year awards. They are simply incredible. ( As I'm typing this it's really hard to polish the one eyed gopher while holding there poster in one hand, but that's dedication )
The Nashville Scene has written perhaps the most extensive and inside article ever done on NWA TNA. You can read it at www.nashvillescene.com ( I'll recap it for you, They compare TNA to David with WWE being Goliath and they refer to Borash's Clothes as that of a used car salesman, They also have a picture of Trinity on the cover with Athena's name next to it, Also they saw Borah looks like a Used Car Salesman, they talk about how the company almost folded during it's two week hiatus in Sept. of last year, They also say Borash looks like a Used Car Salesman )
What makes a great title match? A solid champion and a challenger with enough momentum on their side to have people convinced they are going to see a title switch. We saw it with Raven, and we saw it before with AJ Styles. Now, the question is who will be Jarretts next opponent? ( Himself, I already answered that, or Jesus Christ Himself but even then, they'd have to book him as Christ Killer, I mean if he literally beat Christ could he then be the Ruler of the World, then we'd all have to get Peter-Brady Platinum dyed Sassy Frollet's.... Jesus!!!! Literally beat him ) Can Raven rebound? Will Styles jump back into the picture? Or will there be a wildcard in the mix to get the next shot? We will find out Wednesday night as we crown a new #1 contender for the NWA World Title. Who will it be? Guesses are running rampant. I can't wait to see! ( My vote is for Ralphus, as a true competitor to the title, is there not one man in wrestling history that screams prestige and workrate more than Ralphus himself??? )
I, like so many others, were shocked and very saddened to learn about the passing of Elizabeth Heulette yesterday. I last saw Liz in December on the WWA Europe tour, and enjoyed passing the time talking on some of those long bus rides together. Miss Elizabeth was always a symbol of class in this business, and her character never compromised throughout her career. My deepest sympathies go out to all who are suffering from this very tragic loss.
What are TNA stars listening to these days? Trinity lists the new Justin Timberlake and Eminem CDs as her favorites ( Will someone hand her a gun to take her out of her misery or Better yet, just let her recieve some more chops from the business end of Kash's Hand ), as well as Goldylock's new CD which has grown on me quite a bit as well. ( Seems there's a mystery Track on her CD where it's 3 minute compliation of her screaming ' Jesus God ' or ' What the.... ' over and over with ChickenHat singing ' there's a Tear in my Beer ' ) Ron Killings says you'll find 2 Pac, Eminem, Juvenile, Dr. Dre, and a new group called Head Planet Earth ( Good Try to be hip Borash, HedPE have been around for awhile, they've just recently sold out...... F*cking Sellouts! ) in his CD changer. Jerry Lynn is into death metal, ( I knew I loved this guy for more than his fist pumping action..... ' Fist Pump it Main ' ) and lists Dark Tranquility, In Flames, and those wacky kids from Suffocation as his favorites. I've been listening lately to Coldplay, Audioslave, and Tommy Lee's Methods of Mayhem CD, which may be the best workout music I've ever heard if turned up loud enough. ( And what could be the surprise comedy moment of the year, Borash working out...... ) A surprising number of TNA stars are big on MP3s and burn their own CDs.
The girl that attacked Miss Lollipop was Tracy Brookshaw from Canada.
Shannon Ward (aka the former Daffney) worked TNA under a mask as Shark Girl this past Wednesday night in a match taped for Xplosion. Ward makes history as the first female competitor in wrestling history to join the ranks of Dean Baldwin and John Tenta as people who's wrestling characters pattern themselves after fish. ( Jesus Christ, Who gives a sh*t.... Quit pulling straws and give me some tasty rumors to nibble on )
I can confirm that it will be NWA World Champion Jeff Jarrett vs. WWA World Champion Sting in a unification bout to take place in Auckland, NZ at WWA's "The Reckoning" PPV later this month. ( If I was a betting man, I'd put my house on Jarrett winning, I know it's not the popular choice, but I just see him overcoming all odds and beating Sting... I mean he's the underdog going in, but I love the underdog...... I just see The Sassy One Winning here, I know I'm going out on a limb, but that's my nature..... )
Chris Sabin once again delivered a solid effort this past week. Although he missed a very high risk dive during the program, it only goes to show how difficult a move like that can be. Keep your eye on Sabin, he is fantastic.
Did you miss last week's historic show? If you did, don't fret.( Fret???? Cocks the trigger on my sawed off ) If you have DirecTV, or can break into someone's house that does, DirecTV will be offering an all day ticket for Raven/Jarrett this Monday. Here's an idea get our PPV replay at 9 pm EST Monday night and flip back and fourth. It will be like old times! ( If I broke into someones house to watch this, could I get the charges dropped because Jeremy Borash told me too??? Someone get me Bart Durham on speed dial ASAP )
The newest issue of Total Wrestling (www.totalwrestling.co.uk) has a 4 page photo gallery on NWA-TNA & a one pager on Sandman in the cage with one of the TNA gals. You will be able to pick up this magazine at a very large number of Barnes & Noble, B.Dalton, and Hastings locations at the end of May on a monthly basis.
I wouldn't mind seeing Christopher Daniels get a strong singles push in TNA. TNA officials, and pretty much the rest of the free world that viewed the match, were completely blown away with the tag team contest Daniels and Skipper had two weeks ago against Jerry Lynn and Red. His match with Jerry Lynn this past week was fantastic as well. ( Jesus I'm gonna hitch fish-hooks to my bozak and hang from the ceiling by it, Me and Borash agree on something... He should be the next challenger for Jarrett's belt, recognize talent, TNA...... )
In a business that often foolishly looks at the internet as a hindrance rather than a strong resource, I have made it a priority to recognize some of the very talented writers out there on the net. This week I would like to recognize James Guttman on his absolutely fantastic piece about TNA, WWE and the state of the wrestling business. Please take the time to read this. You can check it out here. http://www.pwtorch.com/artman/publish/article_3601.shtml
After some over exaggerated reports on problems in negotiations with Sabu, the Bombay native made a surprise appearance Wednesday night, only the way he can. When he is on his game, there are very few as exciting as Sabu. TNA is a promotion perfectly suited for a talent like Sabu, and I can't wait to see what he will do in TNA. ( Ahhhh I remember it like yesterday when Sabu was yelling at Borash outside the Asylum.... Truly a Great Moment for me.... I was hoping he wouldn't pelt Borash with a water bottle as that is obviously traumatic for him.... )
Congratulations to Amazing Red, who has become the second wrestler to hold multiple titles in TNA. Red and Lynn are the World Tag Team Champions, and Red defeated Kid Kash to win the X-Division title last Wednesday night.
The factions that have broken off in TNA should make for some exciting matches. TNA has four different distinguishable factions that were showcased in the opening match from this past Wednesday night. I smell some upcoming gang warfare! ( On my @ss )
An estimated 1100+ people were turned away from the Asylum this past Wednesday night. The line to get in stretched the length of the enormous state fairgrounds parking lot, and several people were even cited for scalping ringside seats. On a humorous note, Donna Summer, who was in town visiting at the time, was with a group of people who were turned away, but after a quick phone call the problem was resolved. ( Man unfamous, uncool people getting free tickets, pretty soon Billy Ray Cyrus and Carrot Top will be sitting ringside just because they were turned away, let me delve further here if I shant! Why does she get tickets??? What did she ever do??? How come the fans who got turned away in front of her didn't get the first dibs at the seats??? Oh because she was a third rate singer in the single worst genre in music history!!!!!!!!!!!!! )
That is all 'From the Inside' - have a great weekend and we will see you back for "Anarchy in the Asylum" this Wednesday night.
Jeremy Borash
TNABorash@aol.com
Bro's Real From the Inside 4/28/03
Ok this one is gonna suck, just so you know, I'm working on some new stuff for the site to be available by Thursday and well this From the Inside blows worse than a Bert and Cowboy Vegas Vacation.........
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Another wild night at the Asylum capped off with a hot build for what is already being called the biggest match in NWA TNA history this Wednesday night between Jeff Jarrett and Raven. The whole show should be fantastic.
No real injuries, as surprising as that sounds, after the bloodbath we saw between the New Church and Sandman, New Jack, and Saturn. The match was definitely one of our wildest ever, adding to the mix of variety you see TNA PPVs every time out.
A discussion erupted at the post show IHOP visit, as the debate on whether TNA should enforce a "fanny pack" ban, as they have fallen into the now-pass...Zubaz category of a wrestler's motif.( I guess we won't be seeing Lex Luger in TNA.... Seems Luger only wears Zubaz M.C. Hammer-esque pantaloons ) The ban was supported by several, with my main argument being that no man should wear anything that is called a "fanny pack," no matter how useful or convenient this man purse apparatus is. ( Somewhere I hear the faint crying of Chris Harris as he throws away hundreds upon hundreds of Fanny Packs, including his Signed Pleather Arnold Drummond Autographed pouch...... )
You'll see Konnan, the team of Siaki/Young, and Erik Watts on this weekend's Xplosion, along with some great highlights from last Wednesday night. Xplosion has been adding markets now on almost a weekly basis. Check NWATNA.com to see if Xplosion can been seen in your market.
TNA Genesis will air in the month of May on DirecTV at the special price of just 4.95. This is a two hour look back at TNA's first year on the air, and relives some absolutely fantastic moments. ( Such as Puppet pulling a gun in the middle of the ring, Hermie Sadler cutting Promos only a mute could love, Cheex, The Dupp Cupp and a Monty Brown video highlight reel showing this superstars rise from obscurity and the fall back down to obscurity ) The show will feature highlights of every title change in the history of TNA, plus all the surprises, the celebrities, some great X-Division matches, and some great insight along the way from the TNA announce team. ( We're also looking to add extras to this show, also to be available on DVD such as ; A day at the Salon with Jeff Jarrett, How to pass a roadside sobriety test by Scott Hall, The Unknown Joys of being a Janitor by Monty Brown, Plus Hermie Sadler reads the works of William Shakespeare with special Guests Hacksaw Jim Duggan and James Storm...... And a special segment devoted to ChickenHat Charlie, TNA's Biggest Fan, we follow him around on his daily chores of riding a bus, collecting stray pubic hairs in public restrooms, perusing the aisles at the local Goodwill and will include standup comedy with your favorite ChickenHat catchphrases such as ' Ha-Ha ', ' Yadda, Yadda, Yadda ', ' Oh my God what a bitch, quick Meganta Flick the Switch ' and a special 5 minute karma inducing segment where ChickenHat just stares blankly at the screen with ' I'm too Sexy ' playing in the background, watch as his lazy eye slowly moves from the 1 o'clock position to the 9 o'clock position in a matter of 5 minutes, with no blinking ) I host the show, with Jerry Jarrett serving as executive producer. As an on air talent,( Unintentional Comedy Rocks! ) it sure makes a difference having a coach alongside of you. Jerry was great to work with on this project, and really helped me through the hosting duties. Plans are in the works to eventually take "TNA Genesis" to home video, but you will get first crack at seeing this on DirecTV in the month of May.
Justin Credible has been a great addition to TNA, and is looking forward to getting back into what he does best. I talked with him about the road schedule he worked, and how much better the TNA schedule was for him. He can now spend much more time with his son, which you can't put a price on.
TNA has made progress in negotiations with representatives from Germany, as well as Africa for television distribution.
Jeff Jarrett and WWA promoter Andrew MacManus have come to terms for Jarrett to appear on the upcoming WWA PPV in New Zealand in late May. Jarrett and I will be flying into Auckland for the PPV show only, and unfortunately will not be able to make the Australia dates on the tour.
Preliminary discussions have taken place for TNA to be broadcasted in high-definition television. More on this as it develops.
Slash continues to impress and is one of my favorite workers on our roster. Where else but in wrestling will you hear a guy get put over by someone who he held at knifepoint.
Had a chance to catch up with Jerry Lawler at a show over the weekend. ( Seems he thought I was an adolescent boy and actually asked if I'd like to join him for Ice Cream at a local Mall, what a swell guy of course it was hard for him to ihde his raging hard-on in wrestling tights ) Lawler's book is a great read and worth picking up, especially if you are a fan of the Memphis territory (Count me in there - the Memphis territory rivaled World Class as my favorite shows growing up).
TNA will debut in Indonesia television shortly.
I received an email asking me who my favorite and least favorite net writers are. Where do I start on this one? Buck Woodward and Gregg Allinson do a great job, and I think fairly report on our show. Honorable mention goes to a guy who dishes out more to me than anyone, but he is at least creative. Check out the Bro's TNA Attitude website. While his obsession with me gives off more red flags than Scott Peterson's alibi, I still find myself reading his site every week. ( Because I'm so sexy, I mean Borash cannot keep his eyes off of me and it's really kinda creepy..... Obsession is Good, but not when I get daily emails from him asking me questions such as ' What kind of boxers do you wear at TNA ' and ' You + Me + ChickenHat and Crisco equal a Fatal Fourway... My Place, Be There or be Unfulfilled ' are sorta strange ) Not so favorite? There are a few, but I'd rather not give them the publicity.
More questions being raised about TNA getting a national cable television deal. While the opportunity is there now for us, we first and foremost are a business, and it needs to make sense from a business standpoint before anything is even considered. Some say getting a national television deal is what ultimately put ECW out of business. ( Nope, that would be touring before they were ready ) I will state once again that any national television deal would not change our initial business plan. In a perfect world? I'd love to go head to head with RAW. ( And in a perfect world I'd love to go Head to Hip with Fabio and a vat of ' I can't believe it's not butter ' )
AJ Styles wrestled the show with a banged up left knee. The knee was diagnosed as having a deep-quad bruise all the way to the bone. Styles is not expected to miss any time with TNA, but has cancelled his weekend appearances. He will be given whatever time he needs to get back to 100% if necessary.
That is all for this week...Raven and Jarrett is going to be great...and should make for a fun night of PPV this Wednesday night! ( The Sassy One vs. MuttonChop McGee should be a spectacle to rival all spectacles )
Take care,
Jeremy Borash
TNABorash@aol.com |
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Bro's ' Real ' From the Inside 4/21/03
Greetings and Good Friday to you are yours. The young ( Marmie ) and semi-( Gay ) exciting Jeremy Borash here for another edition of "From the Inside" for your Friday enjoyment. ( I assume you enjoy my articles, I have been told that Dr. Kevorkian uses my ' From the Inside ' to lull his patients into a painful death slumber and some have even gone as far as saying, and I quote ' I wish the energy you use to write ' From the Inside ' would be used by Satan to devour your ever-lovin' Soul, Hippie ' ...... I love all emails.... Remember to email me gang with those kind of comments or anything else, and I'll be sure to never get back to you..... )
TNA once again delivered an incredible show Wednesday night, getting tremendous reviews across the board. Two very strong weeks in a row, with this coming Wednesday looking very solid. The more time goes on, the more people are getting used to our non-traditional approach to business, and the less you hear about people not willing to spend the $9.95 a week to support our product. Why? Our show delivers. It is that simple. Great storylines, great wrestling, and always a two hour roller coaster ride of Total Nonstop Action. If you haven't purchased one of our PPVs in a while, please do. You'll love it. I have never been more proud of our product.
I've been battling pneumonia for the last week. Mike Tenay and Don West were kind enough to fill in for me on Xplosion this week, as I arrived to the building right before showtime, sweating like the Dixie Chicks at an NRA meeting during the show.( So that explains the uncontrollable sweating every week??? I don't think so my friend... I'd love to hear the excuse for no socks..... ) I was said to look as bad as Nick Nolte's mug shot photo.( Or the photo of myself and lollipop on her website ) But, at least I didn't end up in the emergency room. ( Real men do the Emergency Room Gig, Rash...... Don't kid yourself )
This brings me to A.J. Styles, who suffered a nasty cut on his forehead during the street fight with Glen Gilbertti. Styles was taken to the emergency room and required nine stitches for the cut.
Mike Awesome, who may be one of the nicest guys in the wrestling business, had a rough night as well. Awesome was reportedly knocked silly about a minute into his match with Saturn and worked the majority of the bout in no man's land. Awesome collapsed immediately upon coming thought the curtain after his match and was attended to by our trainer. Knowing he had another appearance to make, Awesome regained his bearings, went back out, only to collapse again backstage after his second appearance. By the end of the night, he was in pretty rough shape but in good spirits. ( Seems the smell eminating from myself of piss,sh*t,hair gel,Vomit and Toe Jam Cheese got to him, Hey pneumonia isn't an easy gig..... )
I don't think Julio Dinero or Alexis Laree imagined that they would be pinning NWA World Champion Jeff Jarrett ( Or anyone else for that matter as we are trying a new gimmick in the coming weeks with Jarrett calling him J-Berg..... We're looking to extend his unbeaten streak to 4,512 ) on PPV four weeks ago, but needless to say, those two were great, and helped build for a match that Dave Meltzer believes may draw our biggest buyrate to date. Jarrett/Raven has all the makings of what may be our biggest match in TNA history, and I can't wait for April 30th.
I don't remember the last time I saw fans bringing signs counting down the days to any match, anywhere, but there were at least five signs in the Asylum Wednesday night with some reference to "14 days" to the world title bout. ( I guarantee you tell people in 3 weeks Jeremy Borash will be hung by his pubic hairs and raw meat stapled to his @ss as wild dogs are unleashed, and you'll see signs like nothing else )
I get a lot of comments asking about the honesty and mere acknowledgement I give a lot of net writers and websites, when other companies choose to virtually ignore the internet's presence. ( I'm not being honest, because I truly love the Bro..... I never give him props, except for once, in a deragotory way, it's just hard, I don't wanna give away my infatuation with him... I mean if people knew I had a shrine to him in my closet, that would be embrarrasing, let alone someone knowing I cut out the Bro's head and pasted it to my mirror so when I get ready I can feel better about myself ) My take on it is simple. I've seen the power of this medium. ( As it took a trained Circus Chimp such as myself and thrust him into super-stardom as the svelte,stunning and gorgeous TNA Superstar, The Rash ) WCW Live! was a groundbreaking project that connected with wrestling fans like nothing else ever has. In WCW, it changed the negative perception wrestlers had of the net fans ( Also called MARKS by some, including myself, but then again what am I???? ) by opening up honest and candid dialogue between talent and wrestling's most loyal of followers, with the talent soon realizing that this fan base was incredibly loyal, powerful, and should not be ignored.
Jeff Jarrett credits the whole "slapnuts" craze (some of WCW's best selling merchandise at one point) to the groundswell of followers on WCW Live! who instantly picked it up and ran with it. I'll never forget the how many people showed up with "Slapnuts" signs to the first Nitro after the whole slapnuts thing happened on our show. ( I've always thought Slapnuts was a gay saying, but then again, I'm not Sassy, I'm don't wear pink cowboy shirts and I don't wear sunglasses indoors.... So obviously the word ' Slapnuts ' is only funny to cool people like that... Damn Me ) WCW security even confiscated the signs because they thought it was obscene. I even remember Bob Ryder going out into the crowd and making security give the signs back to the fans and having to explain to security what it was all about.
At one point, WCW Live! was the most listened to streaming media program in the world. That fact alone is amazing. 99% of all talent in WCW (and keep in mind many, if not most, were disgruntled) would be open to doing our show at the drop of a hat because they got to interact with fans who understood things more than most and had a great time doing it. To cast off the opinions of your most loyal of fans is not only insulting, but bad business. Sure, much of what is written on the net could be classified as nothing more than mark mental masturbation,( Speaking of which that's the only satisfaction I get nowadays as my hands have gone on strike until I shower ) but sifting through it all, I've found more bad than good. So when I reference something I see on the net, I do it because it is my nature... it is a community to me, and I'm still living in it.
Great to see Justin Credible on board with NWA TNA. I think one of the most rewarding things to see backstage is a renewed fire that TNA has brought back to talent who have had a rough couple of years elsewhere. ( I think it's because of the great job I do on the Boys Packages..... I know how to work them over really well.... Mind the stepchildren too ) It is inspiring. Especially great talent who lost their love for this business, once again get it back. Our roster is really coming together, and Justin Credible's star will shine bright in TNA.
Jerry Lynn told me he thinks the best matches in his career were with Justin Credible. Hopefully somewhere down the road we will get to see that happen.
Jeff Jarrett and Sandman made appearances together in Philadelphia yesterday, and were said to have had a great response. ( Both were there for The Platinum Frollet Award.... Jarrett won as Sandman did the job for him.. Go Figure )
Smackdown is coming to Nashville this Tuesday. They have been purchasing four ads a week during our Saturday Xplosion show for the last month or two. The last time they were in Nashville was when the Katie Vick necrophilia angle took place. Nothing brings back a wrestling crowd like a good corpse screwin'! ( And I should know ! Don't ever think that corpses don't need love )
I've said it before, but worth mentioning again... I love Glen Gilbertti's new character. It will take a few more weeks to shake the years of the "Disco" personna with the fans, but there are less and less "Disco sucks" chants every week. He has always had that kind of talent, it was just pointed in the wrong direction.
AJ Styles and Sandman were engaged in quite a game of chess backstage, with Styles winning the first contest, and Sandman quickly retaliating with a squash of Styles in 22 moves. The much anticipated third contest will go down this Wednesday. ( I'm still wondering why a bottle of Baby Lotion was at the Chess Table??? )
Malice was going to be brought back in last week, but has been sick since returning from Japan. ( Finnally people we have proof that God does listen to prayers, now If I can just get that other one granted of Me, Don Knotts a bottle of Preperation H and a vat of Oatmeal...... I'll keep praying )
Red/Lynn vs. Triple X may have been the best match I've seen so far this year. Those four are so talented in four uniquely different ways, that together it was nothing but pure magic. Red's springboard hurricanrana to Chris Daniels (who was on top of Jerry Lynn's shoulders) was one of the most breathtaking moves I've ever witnessed. While I have seen that move attempted before in Japan, no one has ever hit it as perfectly as they did. ( Well not counting the many times I was on top of someones Shoulders when Bert came off the bed with a hurricanrana.... Those tapes will never be revelead, but working out sure has helped this man ) Outstanding job by all.
This week, the NWA World Tag Team Champions, Red and Jerry Lynn will square off to determine the #1 and #2 contenders for the X-Division title. These two have battled once before on our show, and if history is any indication, this should be great. ( And if anyone remembers history this is almost a rehash of Lynn and Styles, withought the Anger....... I'm sure that's still to come )
I will be traveling to New Zealand next month to do play-by-play for the next WWA PPV. ( Lets hope by some weird twist of fate that when I'm there the world's airports will go on strike for 3 years because the peanuts in the planes were not up to expectations and I'll be stuck in New Zealand for that time and i'll get marooned on an island full of school boys who recently crashed and I'll become there next feast ) Due to scheduling conflicts, I will not be able to attend the Australia house shows before the PPV on the tour, ( I hear someone weaping.... Oh it's that flamer Elton John ) which is very disappointing to me. Sydney and Melbourne have some of the greatest wrestling fans anywhere in the world.
I'm off to my medicated dreamworld for the weekend. ( Opium Rules Gang HaHa... WOW ) Enjoy your Easter Sunday...and we will see you back this Wednesday night at the Asylum. Take care,
Jeremy Borash
TNABorash@aol.com
Bro's ' Real ' From the Inside 4/15/03
Greetings and welcome back to the "From the Inside" column after a week's hiatus ( Key word on HIatus.... See :Bro's TNA Review for past Wed. PPV to see me during my HIatus ). It's been a very busy week in TNA land ( Where our Champion only defends the Title Once every 65 Days, Primps his Sassy Frollet in the Mirror for Hours and Wears Pink Cowboy Shirts ), and lots to talk about, so lets get to it.
I thought Wednesday's show was fantastic, and was definitely a solid effort by all involved. There was lots of blood, lots of violence, some great work, and great storytelling.
Just got back from New Orleans as TNA hosted a party last night at the House of Blues as part of the C.T.A.M.( Certified Tools Anonymous Meeting..... ) conference. TNA stars mingled with cable television reps from across the country.( I served Drinks to all parties involved ) TNA stars at the party included Raven, Jeff Jarrett, Konnan, Trinity, Truth, D'Lo Brown, and Mike Tenay.( Ominously missing is TNA Superstar, Jeremy Borash who again gang was serving Drinks.... i'm paying my dues ) We had a blast.
After the party, several of us danced the night away at the Erotic Network's bash at the House of Blues that started later in the evening. Just in case you were wondering, Trinity is almost as amazing on the dance floor as she is at flying around in the ring. I will go on record as saying I believe I am a better dancer than D'Lo Brown. Negotiations have taken place for a possible dance-off in Nashville this Wednesday after the show.( And negotiations have been in place to demolish the club after Borash dances as the dance floor will be tainted by Marmie Hair Juice, CDC officials confirmed )
Chris Harris and a few other local wrestlers had a wild night out on the town with Toby Keith last week.( Well Harris, has officially become suplanted on The Bro's Gay List for hanging with Mulletosed Country Singers who think ' Who's Your Daddy ' is still a funny line and catchy ) Keith stopped by TNA two weeks ago, and has really taken a liking to the TNA gang.
Mike Tenay and Bobby Heenan hosted the banquet at the annual Cauliflower Alley Club meeting in Vegas. Apparently my favorite wrestler growing up as a child, Mad Dog Vachon, was said to have given the best speech of the evening.
While in New Orleans, Konnan and I caught up with Scott Baio of Happy Days and Charles in Charge fame.( After hours of trying to convince him I wasn't actually Ricky Schroeder I just played along ) Konnan has been friends with Baio since they met years ago in Los Angeles at a party for Mickey Rourke and Baio fell ill after a bout with bourbon.( Actually most people don't know this butt Scott rolled with a Mexican Gang for years..... Most of Konnan's Cool Cathchphrases can be traced back to Baio..... Wonder why Scott always had an affection for Red Polo's... cough Bloods..... cough ) I like Scott and all, but can you believe he actually dated Pam Anderson?( Kinda like believing TNA Superstar, Jeremy Borash could score anything with a pulse and no b@lls... unbelievable!!!! ) I still believe the Charles in Charge theme song may be the greatest ever written. ( And I've officially become the Leader of all things Gay by that statement... Who can forget the all time best Theme Song of ' Greatest American Hero ' ? )
Speaking of Pam Anderson, Ron Harris was Toby Keith's bodyguard at the recent CMT Flameworthy( FLAMEworthy... Hmmm Why wasn't I invited to these Gay Awards...... ) Awards hosted by Keith and Anderson. Harris said she was more stunning in person, and was very sweet to everyone. ( Of course she was, she has a disease and people with diseases are always nice to people...... they have a disease )
The main event from this last week was a textbook X-Division greatness. Sabin was great in his debut, and I'm also a huge fan of Jonny Storm. I told Red after the show that I thought that may have been the best he's looked since his first week on TNA. ( At which point he punched me and called me ' homo '.... Kayfabe ) He is such an incredible talent. Elix Skipper was absolutely amazing as well Wednesday night.
TNA's involvement in NASCAR has generated some great mainstream press. Fox Sports Network's Totally NASCAR show was on hand before the PPV and shot several scenes involving Jeff Jarrett, Jeff Hammond, and Hermie Sadler.( Sucks when the most eloquent speaker of the bunch is Jarrett...... Sassyness Personified ) Sterling Marlin was also at the Asylum Wednesday night but did not appear on camera. ( Probably best as alot of people's heads would have exploded from there neanderthalian redneck jibba jabba )
This week we'll see New Church vs. New Jack and Sandman. I'm really looking forward to that.
Jerry Lynn & Red vs. Triple X for the tag belts will also take place this Wednesday night.
That is it for this week! We will see you next Wednesday night back on PPV!
Jeremy Borash
TNABorash@aol.com
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